i suspect that all of you reading this either have a mom or know someone who does, or have children or know someone who does. by the same token, i think it's fair to say that most of you also know someone who is grieving the loss of their mom or child, a poor relationship with either, or, quite frankly, the inability to have kids in the first place.

the question is, how do we reconcile this on a day like mother's day? do we tip toe around the fact that people are hurting? not hand out roses to the moms in church in fear we are adding salt to someone else's wound? make sure everyone (and their mother) knows how 'blessed' we are to have a proverbs 31 mom? (that's a whole other blog.) plaster social media by telling everyone we know about how great our mom is?

i think the answer is quite simple (though admittedly hard to navigate); i think we need to do what romans 12:15 tells us to do (especially on a day that both are prevalent): "rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn"

for me, it looks like this:

tomorrow i will grieve the loss of my beautiful mom while simultaneously rejoicing with my sister as she celebrates her first mother's day as one. i'll wrestle with being barren at age 39 as i (very gratefully) hang out with kids who are very dear to my heart and like family to me, AND i'll go to church (a place i usually avoid every mother's day) to support and celebrate a friend as she preaches.

the truth is, it's easy to celebrate beautiful moms and be happy for those of our friends who have kids; rejoicing is the easy part (unless you're jealous.) mourning with those who mourn, on the other hand, is much harder. it takes time to write, call or show up, and feels yucky, heavy or awkward, and at times, costly. but at the end of the day, there are times when we must learn to balance both.

truth be told, there will be some very selfless women in your life who need to be reminded of how strong, courageous, and appreciated they are tomorrow, but there will be others in your life who need to know that you remember them, too.

happy mother's day, moms! you are the heartbeat of your family. (dads are great, too, but they have their own day.)