it's not about me.
here i was walking to the nearest tims as my group was out experiencing a different culture during our 'ethnic plunge' activity. i had been looking forward to this block of time to myself all day - better yet, all week - in fact, i needed it desperately.
so here i was, a few steps away from tims. i could smell the coffee. i could feel the caffeine rushing through my veins. i grab the door handle and ... "excuse me, ma'am, can you spare some change so i can get a drink?" i look down and notice a man in his mid 30's sitting on the ground.
"hi, sir", i said. "i don't have any change for you, but i can gladly get you a drink". he smiled., and i went in and bought him a hot chocolate.
alas, a moment to myself. ice cap in one hand, a book in the other.
"hi ma'am. you look like a nice lady. do you mind if i sit down with you?" i didn't even have to look up. i knew exactly who it was.
"of course i mind. i need time to myself do you have any idea how busy i am?", i thought. [thankfully, i have a filter].
"of course not", i said. and with that, he sat down.
for the next hour and a half, john and i got to hang out and talk about life and laugh. i felt like we knew each other forever, and i certainly walked away feeling blessed and more rejuvenated than i would have been had 'he left me alone' with my book.
i saw john again the following week as i was waiting for the subway. our eyes locked. he smiled and waved, and i walked away reminded of something i need to be reminded of each day as i serve God here at CSM Toronto:
it's not about me. [and it's not about you, either].
"each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others" [philippians 2:5]
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
a huge part of my job is to bring awareness to issues such as homelessness, prostitution, human trafficking, drugs, and the like here in toronto [and yes, stuff like this does happen in our own backyard], but another huge part of what i do is hang out with, and invest in, the youth that come through our 'program' each week.
it's hard to believe that 5:00 p.m. marks the time of arrival for my fourth team this summer. i've had the honor of watching God work through, and in, youth from tennessee and michigan as they've stepped out of their comfort zones and served those on the margins of society; there's nothing i love more than being able to bridge the gap between the upcoming generation and the poor [both of whom are often overlooked due to different stereotypes].
every day i have the privilege of serving alongside of my group in a restaurant for the poor by the name of 'st francis' table'. here, we help prepare top of the notch meals [steak, chicken, shiskabobs, pasta, meatloaf etc] and then serve them their choice of food in true waiter/waitress style. the patrons, as we call them, pay $1/meal for dignity purposes and because of this, they come in knowing that they will be treated with respect and receive good service. after dinner service is done, we have the chance to sit down and hang out. it's in this time the youth get to see firsthand that not all patrons come in for a meal necessarily; some simply come in knowing that they'll have someone to eat with and talk to.
my mornings consist of various activities. sometimes my group and i serve at soup kitchens or at a factory for mentally disabled and ill people. sometimes i get the chance to give the youth a 'tour' around toronto's poorest neighbourhood and allow them to get more of an inside perspective of what it looks like to live in poverty and how God is at work there. and sometimes we spend our mornings handing out bagged lunches or bottled water to those who need it most [more homeless people die due to dehydration per year than by freezing to death in the winter].
as you can imagine, i have to spend a lot of time each day helping the youth and leaders [and myself] process all that they're/we're seeing/thinking/feeling, because the truth is, once saturday rolls around, reality hits; they'll no longer have a program to follow or a host to connect them to the various ministries and non profits in their city. the 'job' is now theirs; it's time for them to head home and ...
LIGHT THEIR CITY UP. [i know they will].
it's hard to believe that 5:00 p.m. marks the time of arrival for my fourth team this summer. i've had the honor of watching God work through, and in, youth from tennessee and michigan as they've stepped out of their comfort zones and served those on the margins of society; there's nothing i love more than being able to bridge the gap between the upcoming generation and the poor [both of whom are often overlooked due to different stereotypes].
every day i have the privilege of serving alongside of my group in a restaurant for the poor by the name of 'st francis' table'. here, we help prepare top of the notch meals [steak, chicken, shiskabobs, pasta, meatloaf etc] and then serve them their choice of food in true waiter/waitress style. the patrons, as we call them, pay $1/meal for dignity purposes and because of this, they come in knowing that they will be treated with respect and receive good service. after dinner service is done, we have the chance to sit down and hang out. it's in this time the youth get to see firsthand that not all patrons come in for a meal necessarily; some simply come in knowing that they'll have someone to eat with and talk to.
my mornings consist of various activities. sometimes my group and i serve at soup kitchens or at a factory for mentally disabled and ill people. sometimes i get the chance to give the youth a 'tour' around toronto's poorest neighbourhood and allow them to get more of an inside perspective of what it looks like to live in poverty and how God is at work there. and sometimes we spend our mornings handing out bagged lunches or bottled water to those who need it most [more homeless people die due to dehydration per year than by freezing to death in the winter].
as you can imagine, i have to spend a lot of time each day helping the youth and leaders [and myself] process all that they're/we're seeing/thinking/feeling, because the truth is, once saturday rolls around, reality hits; they'll no longer have a program to follow or a host to connect them to the various ministries and non profits in their city. the 'job' is now theirs; it's time for them to head home and ...
LIGHT THEIR CITY UP. [i know they will].
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
it's hard to believe that two weeks of training has come and gone and that i'm hours away from putting all that i've learned into practice. 3:00 marks our first official staff meeting and 5:00 marks our first team's arrival.
i've tried to sit down and pound out a blog on several occasions since i've been here, but my words have come up short. that being said, please accept my feeble attempt at putting my thoughts into words even now.
in the past two weeks, i've had the honor of partnering with several ministries/non profits here in toronto. i not only had the chance to listen to passionate people share their 'why i do what i do' stories, but i had the chance to get my hands dirty, too. my heart filled with joy as i:
- served food in several soup kitchens
- folded laundry for nearly 70 beds that provide a safe place to sleep each night for those who wouldn't have one otherwise
- helped those with a mental disability or mental illness meet their quota in a factory so that they can receive a paycheck
- wrote words of encouragement using chalk on a basketball court in the middle of one of toronto's poorest communities.
...and the list goes on.
i find myself asking people to pinch me each day [weird, i know] to see if this really is my life. and it is.
i feel so honored, so blessed.
i've tried to sit down and pound out a blog on several occasions since i've been here, but my words have come up short. that being said, please accept my feeble attempt at putting my thoughts into words even now.
in the past two weeks, i've had the honor of partnering with several ministries/non profits here in toronto. i not only had the chance to listen to passionate people share their 'why i do what i do' stories, but i had the chance to get my hands dirty, too. my heart filled with joy as i:
- served food in several soup kitchens
- folded laundry for nearly 70 beds that provide a safe place to sleep each night for those who wouldn't have one otherwise
- helped those with a mental disability or mental illness meet their quota in a factory so that they can receive a paycheck
- wrote words of encouragement using chalk on a basketball court in the middle of one of toronto's poorest communities.
...and the list goes on.
i find myself asking people to pinch me each day [weird, i know] to see if this really is my life. and it is.
i feel so honored, so blessed.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
where to start.
for those of you who have been asking, my room is pretty sweet. i managed to snag a comfy mattress for my bed, fit all of my clothes on the shelves provided, and make it feel like home by decorating it in true paula style. i won't be spending too much time in there seeing as how my days are packed to the rim, but it's nice to have something to call my own in the midst of the chaos.
training has been intense, but really good. thankfully, my leaders have been sensitive to the fact that i am in no ways an audible learner, and have been extremely supportive and gracious towards me during this long and challenging process. i am loving this journey i am on and all of the great things i get to learn, and be a part of.
take yesterday for example.
my alarm clock went off at 5:10 a.m. at which i went downstairs to help the team [a small team of 11 from a chinese church in the GTA] make egg mcmuffins for the what we call 'breakfast patrol' [handing out hot breakfast to those sleeping on the streets]. when finished, the team and their leaders went downtown toronto to hand out breakfast as the rest of us got ready for our third day of training. later that day, we had the honor of handing out bagged lunches, too.
it's fascinating to me to watch a group of youth come in on friday night all shy and scared about interacting with people they wouldn't normally interact with, and listen to them talk about how nice 'these people' are and how great their experience has been by the time they leave on sunday.
today we got introduced to the 'street walk'. basically, we heard the heart wrenching story of a 13 year old street kid and had to assume their role and act as if this was our own story. we were given a twonie and one bus token and had to walk around the streets of toronto [in a group for safety purposes but we weren't allowed to talk to anyone or pool our money together etc] trying to find the answer to these five questions: what would we eat? where would we sleep? what would we do for money? hygiene? entertainment? the sad reality is, as i have learned this week, a huge percentage [low 80's] of both male and female street youth subject themselves to some form of prostitution just to 'get by' and have their above needs met.
i don't know about you, but i can't wrap my mind around this. i don't know about you, but i can't stand around and pretend like it's not happening right here in my backyard.
“while women weep, as they do now, i'll fight; while children go hungry, as they do now, i'll fight; while men go to prison, in and out, in and out, as they do now, i'll fight; while there is a drunkard left, while there is a poor lost girl upon the streets, while there remains one dark soul without the light of God, i'll fight, i'll fight to the very end!” [william booth]
for those of you who have been asking, my room is pretty sweet. i managed to snag a comfy mattress for my bed, fit all of my clothes on the shelves provided, and make it feel like home by decorating it in true paula style. i won't be spending too much time in there seeing as how my days are packed to the rim, but it's nice to have something to call my own in the midst of the chaos.
training has been intense, but really good. thankfully, my leaders have been sensitive to the fact that i am in no ways an audible learner, and have been extremely supportive and gracious towards me during this long and challenging process. i am loving this journey i am on and all of the great things i get to learn, and be a part of.
take yesterday for example.
my alarm clock went off at 5:10 a.m. at which i went downstairs to help the team [a small team of 11 from a chinese church in the GTA] make egg mcmuffins for the what we call 'breakfast patrol' [handing out hot breakfast to those sleeping on the streets]. when finished, the team and their leaders went downtown toronto to hand out breakfast as the rest of us got ready for our third day of training. later that day, we had the honor of handing out bagged lunches, too.
it's fascinating to me to watch a group of youth come in on friday night all shy and scared about interacting with people they wouldn't normally interact with, and listen to them talk about how nice 'these people' are and how great their experience has been by the time they leave on sunday.
today we got introduced to the 'street walk'. basically, we heard the heart wrenching story of a 13 year old street kid and had to assume their role and act as if this was our own story. we were given a twonie and one bus token and had to walk around the streets of toronto [in a group for safety purposes but we weren't allowed to talk to anyone or pool our money together etc] trying to find the answer to these five questions: what would we eat? where would we sleep? what would we do for money? hygiene? entertainment? the sad reality is, as i have learned this week, a huge percentage [low 80's] of both male and female street youth subject themselves to some form of prostitution just to 'get by' and have their above needs met.
i don't know about you, but i can't wrap my mind around this. i don't know about you, but i can't stand around and pretend like it's not happening right here in my backyard.
“while women weep, as they do now, i'll fight; while children go hungry, as they do now, i'll fight; while men go to prison, in and out, in and out, as they do now, i'll fight; while there is a drunkard left, while there is a poor lost girl upon the streets, while there remains one dark soul without the light of God, i'll fight, i'll fight to the very end!” [william booth]
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
yesterday proved to be exactly what i needed; i was able to grieve the loss i felt from leaving ottawa and then focus all of that energy on being excited for the journey that lays ahead for me in toronto.
so here i am, five hours away from boarding my train, and six hours away from making my way to my new room, and 'home'.
it fascinates me to think that just two months a go i left second cup to pursue my dreams of working with youth and here i am a day away from starting a job that not only allows me to work with youth, but with those on the margins of society as well. one job, but two of my greatest passions. [speaking of passions, let it be said that even though i won't have much time to catch any games, i am in fact, within walking distance of the rogers center]. =)
so here i go again, pumped and ready to educate youth about issues such as homelessness and sex trafficking ... ready to walk them through some eye opening experiences as they serve at homeless shelters, soup kitchens, refugee camps and the like ... ready to help them process all they're seeing/feeling/doing ... and ready to see their lives impacted so deeply that they return home to the cities they came from and put what they learned into practice.
so here i go, friends. my next adventure awaits, and i plan on giving it my all ... in true paula style of course ;)
for those of who want to write to me, i've included my address below [for the rest of you, i will be checking and updating facebook, twitter [@apaulagetic] and this blog as much as i can]. thanks for journeying with me!
paula castrucci
c/o josh and holly mcClement
715-72 gamble ave
toronto, on
M4K 2H1
so here i am, five hours away from boarding my train, and six hours away from making my way to my new room, and 'home'.
it fascinates me to think that just two months a go i left second cup to pursue my dreams of working with youth and here i am a day away from starting a job that not only allows me to work with youth, but with those on the margins of society as well. one job, but two of my greatest passions. [speaking of passions, let it be said that even though i won't have much time to catch any games, i am in fact, within walking distance of the rogers center]. =)
so here i go again, pumped and ready to educate youth about issues such as homelessness and sex trafficking ... ready to walk them through some eye opening experiences as they serve at homeless shelters, soup kitchens, refugee camps and the like ... ready to help them process all they're seeing/feeling/doing ... and ready to see their lives impacted so deeply that they return home to the cities they came from and put what they learned into practice.
so here i go, friends. my next adventure awaits, and i plan on giving it my all ... in true paula style of course ;)
for those of who want to write to me, i've included my address below [for the rest of you, i will be checking and updating facebook, twitter [@apaulagetic] and this blog as much as i can]. thanks for journeying with me!
paula castrucci
c/o josh and holly mcClement
715-72 gamble ave
toronto, on
M4K 2H1
Monday, May 16, 2011
the rain reflects how i feel today.
i love ottawa as a city; i love the parliament buildings and the canal, and my favourite view on the bridge near the mall that overlooks both, but these aren't the things i'm going to think of when i look back on this leg of the journey. i'm going to think of the people i got to spend it with. people like my siblings and my adorable nephews. people like those i met at oasis youth ministry, and second cup; people i reconnected with while i was here.
i look at my stuff sitting across from me, and though i am incredibly grateful that all of my belongings fit into it one - yes one - hockey bag [i live like this purposely], i secretly wish i had a bag big enough to bring all my loved ones with me.
so to my friends and family here, i love you and am grateful for all the memories you helped me build in the last eight months. i won't forget you. thank you for being part of my adventure; my journey; my life!
i love ottawa as a city; i love the parliament buildings and the canal, and my favourite view on the bridge near the mall that overlooks both, but these aren't the things i'm going to think of when i look back on this leg of the journey. i'm going to think of the people i got to spend it with. people like my siblings and my adorable nephews. people like those i met at oasis youth ministry, and second cup; people i reconnected with while i was here.
i look at my stuff sitting across from me, and though i am incredibly grateful that all of my belongings fit into it one - yes one - hockey bag [i live like this purposely], i secretly wish i had a bag big enough to bring all my loved ones with me.
so to my friends and family here, i love you and am grateful for all the memories you helped me build in the last eight months. i won't forget you. thank you for being part of my adventure; my journey; my life!
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