wyerton willie is often the bearer of bad news. we see sun one day and pull out our flip flops the next, only to find out that a groundhog - a stinkin groundhog! - is calling for more snow. 'it's april 15th!. are you out of your mind?', we think. i can't deal with this wind. my back hurts from shoveling. it's too dark. i'm cold!

we have time frames in place for the four seasons. winter should end by march at the latest. spring, june. summer, september. and so forth.

and such can be said about the seasons we face in life, too. relationships should last longer. we've been unemployed too long. sick too much. stuck. poor. depressed.

but i'm here to bring you good news! no matter how long winter lasts, spring is guaranteed. no matter how long you've been unemployed or depressed [a blog on the latter coming soon], the sun is due to come out!

so ... don't give up. keep going. press on.

1) "it's okay".

i was out in public the other day and had no choice but to listen to a mother try to calm her screaming baby down. "shhhhhh, it's okay", she said, "don't cry".

somehow, in this random brain of mine, i started thinking about how you and i often comfort our friends.

sometimes, our friends need to talk. other times, they need a distraction. some fun. laughter, you name it.

but sometimes, just sometimes, they may need to cry. and that's okay.

i find that our natural reaction to someone crying can be harmful at times; we, like that mom and her baby [which, i acknowledge, is a totally different story], are quick to try and stop our friends from crying, and do anything we can to 'cheer them up'. "it could be worse" we say. "you have so much to be thankful for".

while statements such as the above are true, they can be quite damaging.

next time your friend needs you, try and gauge what it is they actually need, and do your best to help them accordingly.

2) monkey see - monkey do.

my team and i were enjoying a lovely breakfast on a hot summer's day in malawi a few summers a go when my eyes were drawn to the rustling i overheard coming from a tree near by. to my surprise, a monkey climbed down the tree, jumped on a table next to me and stole a piece of toast out of the hand of a fellow traveler. i clinched my toast and laughed. seconds later, a second monkey came down, jumped on the same table, only to leave with some jam. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?", i thought. "if that third monkey comes down and grabs a knife, i'm going to die" [of laughter that is, not from a monkey stabbing].

this whole experience baffled me for years until my friend reminded me of the familiar saying, "monkey see - monkey do" the other night. those monkeys had been up in that tree watching us humans lather our toast with strawberry jam, and expected nothing less for their breakfast.

and somehow, in this random brain of mine, i linked this whole thing to leadership.

those you lead don't listen to what you say, they watch what you do.

i can't tell you the amount of times that i've been told to do something, only to have the one who told me to do it turn around and do the complete opposite, leaving me feeling confused and wondering whether or not i could trust them as my leader.

the truth is, we've all been there.

your boss stresses the importance of showing up to work on time, and comes in 20 minutes late each day himself.
your mom tells you to hang up your jacket, but throws hers on the kitchen chair when she gets home from work.
your prof emphasizes deadlines, and yet hands your paper back three months after you handed it in.

you get the picture.

truth be told, true leadership isn't proven in one's ability to 'talk the talk', but in their ability to 'walk the walk'.

because, well, monkey see - monkey do.

our 'behinds'

i was driving my sister's car the other day and it hit me; i spent way more time looking through the windshield than i did the rear view mirror. what was ahead of me, the cars,[ahem, parked cars], stop signs, snow banks and the like, were more important to me than what was behind me.

shouldn't the same be said about life?

sure, in some ways we can't escape our past, after all, it's responsible for shaping us into the person we are today, but we can't live there; we have too good of a future ahead to worry about ... our behinds.

our 'butts'

i should really study for my exam, but ... i'm tired and can do it tomorrow.
i should call so and so to see how she's doing, but ... she's probably busy.
i'll go to the gym, but ... my legs are sore from yesterday's work out.
i should eat these carrots, but ... this crème egg looks good.
i should, but ... but ... but!

you get the picture.

truth be told, our 'buts' get in the way of doing the very things we need to do to ensure a better life and future, and so can our 'behinds' if we let them.

"let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you" [proverbs 4:25]

Christians, this one's for you.

one, not everyone understands the clichés that you use. telling someone that your 'church is on fire' may cause someone to call 911.

two, be careful what you say and the motive in which you say it with. words like "i'm praying for you", or my personal favourite [please sense the sarcasm], "loneliness is God's cry for intimacy" can be viewed as a copout. there are far too many 'one another' verses in the bible for me to believe that God wants us to do life alone. pray, yes, but be a friend and reach out in a practical way, too.

and lastly, people need to know what you stand for, not what you're against. i'm tired of reading about Christians grabbing signs and picketing against issues that they haven't even spent time researching. we all have our own views on homosexuality, abortion, and the like [sadly, two issues that Christians are known for fighting against], but chill the heck out and rethink your methods. [said in love and with a lot of passion of course]. more than what you're 'against', people should be able to tell you apart because of what you stand for: love, grace, and peace, to name a few. [things that i have a hard time displaying at times, too].

that's all she wrote ... for now.

1) crack is bad.

i get it, mayor ford smoked [smokes?] crack and crack is bad, but i can't af'ford' to waste any more precious time on this, in my opinion, overly drawn out mayor publicity.

2} perspective.

i get that it's cold. i can see my breath every morning on my way to work, and i 'almost died' without the mittens i bought this week, but so far [and i don't say this lightly], thousands of people have died in the Philippines because of typhoon haiyan. sometimes we canadians need some perspective.

3) love is an action word, and 'small' acts of love can make a huge difference.

i sit here thinking about some of the thoughtful things people have done for me this past little while, and how loved they made me feel in doing so.

for dinner tonight, i enjoyed an amazing bowl of chili that my coworker brought me because she knows how much i love chili. last week, another friend dropped off my favourite starbucks' drink, followed by a thoughtful gift and a heartwarming letter. the previous week, another coworker ran over to the mall when he was done his shift and grabbed me a coffee to ensure that i stayed awake until i was done mine. and the list goes on.

my point? don't underestimate the power of kindness! the 'smallest' act of love has the ability to occupy the biggest part of our hearts.

so what are you waiting for? close my blog and go love somebody <3

the more people let me into their lives, the more i'm aware of the paralysis that often comes with a broken heart.

life is full of disappointment. that person who promised to never leave you, leaves you. the one you thought was 'the one' had a few other 'ones' on the side. you didn't get that job you were banking on. the word you feared when you got your test results back came out of your doctor's mouth. and the list goes on.

i'm not trying to be depressing here, just realistic. life can be painful and unfair sometimes. just watch the news, or, if you want to be more current, more '2013', scroll through your facebook newsfeed. people are crying out for help.

so what do we do? what can we do?

i don't know about you, but my words come up short in times like these. i sit and listen to what my friends are saying [and not saying], and my immediate reaction is to try and say something so wise that their problems wash away.

i've learned something valuable along the way, though. being there for someone - like actually being physically present - can speak more comfort to a broken heart than any word we try and come up with in the process.

sometimes it's best just to ... show up.

1) tomorrow is not guaranteed.

one of the 'clients' at a women's recovery home i used to work in passed away this week. i can't help but think about her and how much of a fighter she was. naturally, i can't help but think about death either, and how important life is. we never really know how much time we have to impact another life. make today count.

2) progress.

a situation happened in my life recently that was extremely similar to one that happened months back, only this time i responded differently. last time, i responded emotionally. this time, rationally. i took a deep breath, processed it, and acted accordingly. i'm constantly striving to be better, and do better, so it's encouraging to see some growth.

3) the critics.

“it is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. the credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” [theodore roosevelt]

there will always be critics. but they don't count ... unless we let them.