there seems to be quite the disconnect between my head and my heart these days, causing me to feel trapped in this frustrating place i like to call the 'process pathway'.
my heart tells me that many people love me, but my head tells me otherwise. and quite honestly, so does circumstance sometimes.
really though, how is it that i have dedicated my life to investing in people, and yet, when it comes down to it, i have no one to bring me ginger ale when i'm stuck in my room for three days with the flu, and/or heat stroke and dehydration?
i get it. people are busy with work and their own families. but what's the point in investing everything i have into people [which comes with sacrifice at times], when i don't have anyone to take care of me when i need taken care of?
even a phone call would have sufficed, or a simple, 'how are you feeling, paula? can i do anything?'.
i sit here battling many things as i type this. do i keep investing in others to the degree that i do without expecting anything in return? you know - 'be the change that i wish to see in the world'? - or do i shrink back and stop investing in people to the degree that i do in order to protect my already calloused heart?
now before you get all spiritual on me, christian folk, i'm fully aware that jesus invested in people without expecting anything in return, as i'm equally aware that he willingly invested in people he knew would betray him and turn on him in an instant, which blows me away every time i think about it. but i'm not jesus, and neither are you. [it was not my intent to offend anyone here].
truth be told, i bet if you were honest with yourself, you could admit that you, too, expect some kind of return for your relational investments, and feel 'jipped' if your investment isn't reciprocated to some degree, no?
i don't know. maybe i'm way out in left field here. [hopefully the same left field that rajai davis is in].
better keep processing.
please note: this blog wasn't written with anyone specific in mind.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Thursday, June 13, 2013
i've been sitting here trying to pound out a blog that could adequately describe how i've been feeling these past days, but my words have come up short. instead, i choose to kind of re-post [and by kind of i mean change it a bit] a blog i wrote back in december.
i, paula isabella, struggle with a disease called 'premenstrual dysphoric disorder', and wish more than anything that i didn't. [sorry, fellas, i promise not to get graphic].
in grade eight, i had my first bout of depression. i had no idea where it came from either. i was in the running for female athlete of the year [at 32, i still 'got game'] and an english award, i had friends, good grades, you name it; but all of a sudden, this 'thing' hit me. i went from feeling happy to hopeless, and though i didn't know it at the time, deeply depressed, which seemed to be a monthly battle from there on in.
fast forward to my 27th year. i was living in edmonton at the time and hit my deepest bout of depression yet. after spending four very long days in bed [and 15 years battling this demon], i decided that i needed to get some help. days later, i began tracking my moods on a calendar.
if i had a good day, i drew a happy face. a normal day, a normal [?] one, and when i felt depressed, i drew a sad face. it didn't take me very long to realize that these episodes were surrounding my bless-ed period. [again, sorry, fellas].
so i did what any one of us would do: i googled it [which i don't highly recommend as it usually leads you to a hypochondriac who convinces you that you have some form of cancer]. i very quickly came across a disease called 'premenstrual dysphoric disorder', and within minutes, had the answer to the question i was asking myself all of these years: "what the heck is wrong with me?"
i took my findings to my doctor, was diagnosed with PMDD almost immediately, and put on a mild anti-depressant for six months to help me cope.
in addition to this, i started seeing a counselor and began looking at ways in which i could combat this battle of mine every month.
six months later, as mentioned above, i was taken off of the anti-depressants and began fighting this demon with the tools i had been given through counseling. i had good days and bad days. i lost some friends, and quality of life, but i finally came to a point years later where i could function during these two weeks each month, even though my emotions were still too intense for me at times.
thankfully, my last bout of depression was august 2010 [right before i moved to ottawa]. I WAS FINALLY FREE AND HAD NEVER FELT BETTER. i felt content. happy. fulfilled even.
then my dad passes away. add that to the fact that i was working for an unhealthy organization, and BOOM - all of a sudden my emotions become even more amplified and i no longer [feel like i] know how to cope with life. and soon after, the depression episodes reappeared.
i withdrew. cried myself to sleep more often than not. felt hopeless. suicidal even. i tried everything. praying. reading my bible. all the things people in the church have told me i need to do in times like this. only nothing seemed to be working. life just kept getting darker and darker.
i went on meds for a bit, but soon came off of them once my pharamicist informed me that the dose i was taking would take a 'very long time to work, if at all'. i tried counseling again, only to end up counseling my counselor. [no joke]. so i sit here feeling lost again.
it's an odd feeling knowing in your heart that you have so much to be grateful for [and i do], but having your mind constantly tell you the complete opposite. for the past few days i've had this lingering voice telling me that i'm unloveable/not good enough/a failure, and truthfully, i don't have much fight left in me today to tell it otherwise.
but i get out of bed and fight any ways, hoping that i'm just a few short days away from feeling like myself again.
i, paula isabella, struggle with a disease called 'premenstrual dysphoric disorder', and wish more than anything that i didn't. [sorry, fellas, i promise not to get graphic].
in grade eight, i had my first bout of depression. i had no idea where it came from either. i was in the running for female athlete of the year [at 32, i still 'got game'] and an english award, i had friends, good grades, you name it; but all of a sudden, this 'thing' hit me. i went from feeling happy to hopeless, and though i didn't know it at the time, deeply depressed, which seemed to be a monthly battle from there on in.
fast forward to my 27th year. i was living in edmonton at the time and hit my deepest bout of depression yet. after spending four very long days in bed [and 15 years battling this demon], i decided that i needed to get some help. days later, i began tracking my moods on a calendar.
if i had a good day, i drew a happy face. a normal day, a normal [?] one, and when i felt depressed, i drew a sad face. it didn't take me very long to realize that these episodes were surrounding my bless-ed period. [again, sorry, fellas].
so i did what any one of us would do: i googled it [which i don't highly recommend as it usually leads you to a hypochondriac who convinces you that you have some form of cancer]. i very quickly came across a disease called 'premenstrual dysphoric disorder', and within minutes, had the answer to the question i was asking myself all of these years: "what the heck is wrong with me?"
i took my findings to my doctor, was diagnosed with PMDD almost immediately, and put on a mild anti-depressant for six months to help me cope.
in addition to this, i started seeing a counselor and began looking at ways in which i could combat this battle of mine every month.
six months later, as mentioned above, i was taken off of the anti-depressants and began fighting this demon with the tools i had been given through counseling. i had good days and bad days. i lost some friends, and quality of life, but i finally came to a point years later where i could function during these two weeks each month, even though my emotions were still too intense for me at times.
thankfully, my last bout of depression was august 2010 [right before i moved to ottawa]. I WAS FINALLY FREE AND HAD NEVER FELT BETTER. i felt content. happy. fulfilled even.
then my dad passes away. add that to the fact that i was working for an unhealthy organization, and BOOM - all of a sudden my emotions become even more amplified and i no longer [feel like i] know how to cope with life. and soon after, the depression episodes reappeared.
i withdrew. cried myself to sleep more often than not. felt hopeless. suicidal even. i tried everything. praying. reading my bible. all the things people in the church have told me i need to do in times like this. only nothing seemed to be working. life just kept getting darker and darker.
i went on meds for a bit, but soon came off of them once my pharamicist informed me that the dose i was taking would take a 'very long time to work, if at all'. i tried counseling again, only to end up counseling my counselor. [no joke]. so i sit here feeling lost again.
it's an odd feeling knowing in your heart that you have so much to be grateful for [and i do], but having your mind constantly tell you the complete opposite. for the past few days i've had this lingering voice telling me that i'm unloveable/not good enough/a failure, and truthfully, i don't have much fight left in me today to tell it otherwise.
but i get out of bed and fight any ways, hoping that i'm just a few short days away from feeling like myself again.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
i constantly wrestle with the gap between expectation and reality.
some of you know what i'm talking about. your expectations are high [or sometimes even realistic], but reality doesn't match up, leaving you lingering in this huge gap of disappointment and frustration. i find myself here more often than not when it comes to a few areas of my life, and truthfully, i`m unsure how to break free from it.
as a server, i expect to be tipped.
at the risk of sounding overly confident, i am good at what i do. i genuinely care about the guests that walk in, i'm energetic, attentive, and, as a little girl said to her dad most recently as i walked away from the table, "so nice".
i work hard for my money.
but the reality is, for whatever reason, some people just don't tip, and instead of walking away proud of myself for the way in which i served, i walk away angry and frustrated, say my piece to whoever will listen, and move on to the next table.
i reached my maximum 'blow up' point the other night when i received three non tipping tables in a row, followed by a 14 cent tip on a $60.00 bill and a $3.00 tip on an $80. i walked away questioning why i do what i do, and seriously contemplated quitting. [please note: i usually only serve once a week and manage the rest, so i rely heavily on my tips to get me through certain weeks].
i expect people to tell the truth.
i've always been a straight shooter [with more tact nowadays, thankfully] so i've never understood lying. in fact, i lied once in 2007 and still think about it to this day. no joke.
i was standing with a group of my friends in college one day when one of them turns to me and says lous enough for everyone to hear, "paula, do you have any gum?"
of course i had gum - i always did - but i, knowing that i only had two pieces left, said, "no, sorry, i don't".
that was it. that was the lie that haunts me to this day, and will more than likely go to the grave with me.
does it really matter if someone lies about gum? meh, there are worse things in life. but what if someone you love and trust gets caught in a more serious one? i can't help but take it personally, and if i'm honest with myself, i don't know how not to.
i expect to lose weight.
ever since my dad passed away from a heart attack just over a year a go, i've been on this huge health kick. i started motivating myself using vi shakes, which worked wonders, and slowly started to change my eating habits since. most recently, i started going back to the gym and on monday i start kickboxing. aside from my cheat day each week, which i think we're all entitled to, i am quite disciplined with what goes into my mouth. and i have never felt more proud of myself.
but then i put the same pants on every day [well, not the exact same pair lol] and ... nothing. no progress whatsoever. it's as if i've hit this plateau; this grueling, frustrating plateau.
and lastly, i expect way too much from myself.
this probably doesn't surprise you after reading my 'i don't have any gum' story, but i'm way too hard on myself. even as i sit here and type out this vulnerable post, i see that. truthfully, my biggest frustration isn't the fact that people let me down [as i, too, let others down]; my biggest frustration lies in the fact that i let myself get so worked up about such petty things and take things way too personally.
people don't leave me crappy [or non existent] tips because i suck, nor do people lie to me for the same reason. people are simply human, and i`m just as human.
i so desperately want to be known as one who extends grace. to others, yes, but also to myself ... even, and especially, when i find myself stuck in the frustrating gap between expectation and reality.
some of you know what i'm talking about. your expectations are high [or sometimes even realistic], but reality doesn't match up, leaving you lingering in this huge gap of disappointment and frustration. i find myself here more often than not when it comes to a few areas of my life, and truthfully, i`m unsure how to break free from it.
as a server, i expect to be tipped.
at the risk of sounding overly confident, i am good at what i do. i genuinely care about the guests that walk in, i'm energetic, attentive, and, as a little girl said to her dad most recently as i walked away from the table, "so nice".
i work hard for my money.
but the reality is, for whatever reason, some people just don't tip, and instead of walking away proud of myself for the way in which i served, i walk away angry and frustrated, say my piece to whoever will listen, and move on to the next table.
i reached my maximum 'blow up' point the other night when i received three non tipping tables in a row, followed by a 14 cent tip on a $60.00 bill and a $3.00 tip on an $80. i walked away questioning why i do what i do, and seriously contemplated quitting. [please note: i usually only serve once a week and manage the rest, so i rely heavily on my tips to get me through certain weeks].
i expect people to tell the truth.
i've always been a straight shooter [with more tact nowadays, thankfully] so i've never understood lying. in fact, i lied once in 2007 and still think about it to this day. no joke.
i was standing with a group of my friends in college one day when one of them turns to me and says lous enough for everyone to hear, "paula, do you have any gum?"
of course i had gum - i always did - but i, knowing that i only had two pieces left, said, "no, sorry, i don't".
that was it. that was the lie that haunts me to this day, and will more than likely go to the grave with me.
does it really matter if someone lies about gum? meh, there are worse things in life. but what if someone you love and trust gets caught in a more serious one? i can't help but take it personally, and if i'm honest with myself, i don't know how not to.
i expect to lose weight.
ever since my dad passed away from a heart attack just over a year a go, i've been on this huge health kick. i started motivating myself using vi shakes, which worked wonders, and slowly started to change my eating habits since. most recently, i started going back to the gym and on monday i start kickboxing. aside from my cheat day each week, which i think we're all entitled to, i am quite disciplined with what goes into my mouth. and i have never felt more proud of myself.
but then i put the same pants on every day [well, not the exact same pair lol] and ... nothing. no progress whatsoever. it's as if i've hit this plateau; this grueling, frustrating plateau.
and lastly, i expect way too much from myself.
this probably doesn't surprise you after reading my 'i don't have any gum' story, but i'm way too hard on myself. even as i sit here and type out this vulnerable post, i see that. truthfully, my biggest frustration isn't the fact that people let me down [as i, too, let others down]; my biggest frustration lies in the fact that i let myself get so worked up about such petty things and take things way too personally.
people don't leave me crappy [or non existent] tips because i suck, nor do people lie to me for the same reason. people are simply human, and i`m just as human.
i so desperately want to be known as one who extends grace. to others, yes, but also to myself ... even, and especially, when i find myself stuck in the frustrating gap between expectation and reality.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
“man is a great wall builder
the berlin wall
the wailing wall of jerusalem
but the wall most impregnable
has a moat
flowing with fright
around his heart
a wall without windows for the spirit to breeze through
without a door for love to walk in.”
- oswald mtshali
it's scary how introverted i have become in the past little while. i've always treasured alone time, but lately i've been craving it way more than usual. maybe it's because my heart is surrounded by walls like the above poem states, or maybe, just maybe, i'm in need of a recharge. either way, holla for PAULAday. and PAULAtime. and PAULA.
but if i'm completely honest with myself, i have lonely moments, too. moments where i wish i could call up a friend and grab a coffee, or talk, or just show up at a friend's house like we did back in the day before the cell phones we heavily rely on existed.
it's a catch 22, really. i build walls up around my heart to prevent myself from getting hurt, and yet i'm dying for someone - anyone - to break them down.
the berlin wall
the wailing wall of jerusalem
but the wall most impregnable
has a moat
flowing with fright
around his heart
a wall without windows for the spirit to breeze through
without a door for love to walk in.”
- oswald mtshali
it's scary how introverted i have become in the past little while. i've always treasured alone time, but lately i've been craving it way more than usual. maybe it's because my heart is surrounded by walls like the above poem states, or maybe, just maybe, i'm in need of a recharge. either way, holla for PAULAday. and PAULAtime. and PAULA.
but if i'm completely honest with myself, i have lonely moments, too. moments where i wish i could call up a friend and grab a coffee, or talk, or just show up at a friend's house like we did back in the day before the cell phones we heavily rely on existed.
it's a catch 22, really. i build walls up around my heart to prevent myself from getting hurt, and yet i'm dying for someone - anyone - to break them down.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
online dating update.
i'm considering changing what i've written in my profile to 'online dating tips for men'. [i'm sure there are some equally uneducated women out there, but they don't affect me]. based on experience, i would include the following tips at the very least:
1. don't use your prison photo as your profile picture. this is highly unattractive and scary.
2. you don't stand a chance with a name like 'mmmmmm' or 'hottemptation'. [tempted to delete you, maybe].
3. opening your initial conversation with things like 'hey baby - you're the one for me' or 'i want to marry you' have the words 'green card' written all over them.
4. sending me a picture of your chest will not inspire me to send you one of mine. [true story].
5. writing in caps makes me think you're yelling at me, and you're not allowed to be louder than me.
6. if you use the wrong your/you're, you're outta here.
needless to say, there hasn't been much progress since my last blog, but i still refuse to settle.
my battle with depression.
"each time i find myself flat on my face, i pick myself up and get back in the race ... that's life!" [frank sinatra]
some months are better than others, but this one knocked me off of my feet unexpectedly. i haven't felt that low/dark/isolated/hopeless in a while, but thankfully i'm on the mend and almost back to being me [even though 'this' is a part of me, too], and for those of you reading this who struggle with depression, you will be, too. keep fighting.
the blue jays.
i cannot express how happy my heart is to have my boys back. nor can i express how blessed i am to have a roommate who can get me half price tickets any time i want. i almost died when he told me that recently. [good thing i didn't though; half price tickets only benefit me when i'm alive].
until next time, friends.
i'm considering changing what i've written in my profile to 'online dating tips for men'. [i'm sure there are some equally uneducated women out there, but they don't affect me]. based on experience, i would include the following tips at the very least:
1. don't use your prison photo as your profile picture. this is highly unattractive and scary.
2. you don't stand a chance with a name like 'mmmmmm' or 'hottemptation'. [tempted to delete you, maybe].
3. opening your initial conversation with things like 'hey baby - you're the one for me' or 'i want to marry you' have the words 'green card' written all over them.
4. sending me a picture of your chest will not inspire me to send you one of mine. [true story].
5. writing in caps makes me think you're yelling at me, and you're not allowed to be louder than me.
6. if you use the wrong your/you're, you're outta here.
needless to say, there hasn't been much progress since my last blog, but i still refuse to settle.
my battle with depression.
"each time i find myself flat on my face, i pick myself up and get back in the race ... that's life!" [frank sinatra]
some months are better than others, but this one knocked me off of my feet unexpectedly. i haven't felt that low/dark/isolated/hopeless in a while, but thankfully i'm on the mend and almost back to being me [even though 'this' is a part of me, too], and for those of you reading this who struggle with depression, you will be, too. keep fighting.
the blue jays.
i cannot express how happy my heart is to have my boys back. nor can i express how blessed i am to have a roommate who can get me half price tickets any time i want. i almost died when he told me that recently. [good thing i didn't though; half price tickets only benefit me when i'm alive].
until next time, friends.
Monday, March 18, 2013
it's been a while, i know. i've been busy moving, training at my new[er] job, dating, and trying to catch up on the sleep that i lost from all three. forgive me. [hi, michael].
my new digs.
i really lucked out here. i live within a ten minute walk from work, i pay next to nothing for what i get [a furnished room, 300 channels, unlimited wifi, in suite laundry, a gym, pool, basketball, squash and tennis courts etc, and an amazing and considerate roommate]. i've been here for just over two weeks now and can honestly say that it feels like home to me. it feels like homeeeeeeeee to me. [great. now i have that song in my head].
work.
i love managing such an amazing group of young people. i'm enjoying the challenge that comes with learning something new, and the 'break' i get when i get to serve tables [something i am naturally good at]. most guests, i find, are delightful, while some, not so much.
like the lady i served last night just before we closed.
"can i have a 7up?" [i bring her a 7up]. five minutes later, "can i change this to a pepsi?" as she hands me her glass. i take five steps toward the pop machine and she yells, 'no, an iced tea". i walk back to her to clarify. she tells me an iced tea with no ice. i proceed to get it for her. she calls me back and tells me rudely that she would like ONE iced cube in her drink. i gave her two. [accidently that is] ;)
of course, there are humourous guests also. [you'll get what i mean by humourous in a minute].
my conversation with a guest the other day went something like this:
me: are you ready for a great dinner?
her: "i have had gas all night and all day today, but i'm still here!" [you think i'm kidding].
[please note: i then later recommended the 'chocolate explosion" to her for dessert. [you better believe i did].
love my job.
dating life.
believe it or not, this area of my life has been more interesting than the above.
the guy i was seeing vanished a few days after he helped me move. now before you feel bad for me, i am more than okay with this as i, in all honestly, was only physically attracted to him. [i felt like the wolf in little red riding hood: "my, what big muscles you have"]. it was easy to protect my heart in such a relationship since he was moving to the states in a few months any ways.
since then, i have had quite the selection of 'men' come my way.
a few stated how i was the 'one for them' in their very first email to me. [does that really work on some women?]. one sent me a picture of his torso and got angry with me when he found out i had a male roommate [possessive much?]. so i did what any women would do. i sent him a picture of my roommate's chest instead of mine [which he requested]. just kidding. about the roommate's chest that is.
but. i have met a few great guys who i remain friends with, and a few who i am still 'getting to know'. stay tuned.
health.
for those of you who think i have a big mouth, think again. my last wisdom tooth came in and broke the tooth in front of it in order to make room. just recently the root has been exposed, causing me a great deal of pain. i have taken way too much advil and T3's for my liking, and pretty much downed a whole tube of orajel in the past two days. i've called dentist after dentist asking about payment plans as it cost $400 to get it pulled but all want the cash up front so i'm stuck with this is pain in the ... mouth [you thought i was going to say something else, didn't you?] for another week or so. other than that, i am amazing; eating well and taking advantage of the gym downstairs [which, by the way, is located through the door that is conveniently placed behind the hot security guard in my building].
life is good.
my new digs.
i really lucked out here. i live within a ten minute walk from work, i pay next to nothing for what i get [a furnished room, 300 channels, unlimited wifi, in suite laundry, a gym, pool, basketball, squash and tennis courts etc, and an amazing and considerate roommate]. i've been here for just over two weeks now and can honestly say that it feels like home to me. it feels like homeeeeeeeee to me. [great. now i have that song in my head].
work.
i love managing such an amazing group of young people. i'm enjoying the challenge that comes with learning something new, and the 'break' i get when i get to serve tables [something i am naturally good at]. most guests, i find, are delightful, while some, not so much.
like the lady i served last night just before we closed.
"can i have a 7up?" [i bring her a 7up]. five minutes later, "can i change this to a pepsi?" as she hands me her glass. i take five steps toward the pop machine and she yells, 'no, an iced tea". i walk back to her to clarify. she tells me an iced tea with no ice. i proceed to get it for her. she calls me back and tells me rudely that she would like ONE iced cube in her drink. i gave her two. [accidently that is] ;)
of course, there are humourous guests also. [you'll get what i mean by humourous in a minute].
my conversation with a guest the other day went something like this:
me: are you ready for a great dinner?
her: "i have had gas all night and all day today, but i'm still here!" [you think i'm kidding].
[please note: i then later recommended the 'chocolate explosion" to her for dessert. [you better believe i did].
love my job.
dating life.
believe it or not, this area of my life has been more interesting than the above.
the guy i was seeing vanished a few days after he helped me move. now before you feel bad for me, i am more than okay with this as i, in all honestly, was only physically attracted to him. [i felt like the wolf in little red riding hood: "my, what big muscles you have"]. it was easy to protect my heart in such a relationship since he was moving to the states in a few months any ways.
since then, i have had quite the selection of 'men' come my way.
a few stated how i was the 'one for them' in their very first email to me. [does that really work on some women?]. one sent me a picture of his torso and got angry with me when he found out i had a male roommate [possessive much?]. so i did what any women would do. i sent him a picture of my roommate's chest instead of mine [which he requested]. just kidding. about the roommate's chest that is.
but. i have met a few great guys who i remain friends with, and a few who i am still 'getting to know'. stay tuned.
health.
for those of you who think i have a big mouth, think again. my last wisdom tooth came in and broke the tooth in front of it in order to make room. just recently the root has been exposed, causing me a great deal of pain. i have taken way too much advil and T3's for my liking, and pretty much downed a whole tube of orajel in the past two days. i've called dentist after dentist asking about payment plans as it cost $400 to get it pulled but all want the cash up front so i'm stuck with this is pain in the ... mouth [you thought i was going to say something else, didn't you?] for another week or so. other than that, i am amazing; eating well and taking advantage of the gym downstairs [which, by the way, is located through the door that is conveniently placed behind the hot security guard in my building].
life is good.
Friday, February 15, 2013
you can learn a lot from TV.
take undercover boss for example. below are four lessons i 'learned' from the last episode alone.
1) as stated in my last blog, appreciation goes a long, long way.
2) everyone has a story. get to know those you lead.
3) don't ever be 'too important' or 'too successful' to serve, or 'too good' to clean toliets.
4) and lastly, oversharing gets you everything you need.
i'm partially kidding here. but really, i can't help but laugh at some of the things people tell the one they're training after knowing them for all of an hour. it's like they know that the trainee isn't who they claim to be.
undercover boss: "what do you like to do in your spare time?"
employer: "i don't have spare time. my brother is sick and i have to take care of him" ... "i would love to go on [an all expense paid] trip to italy" ... "i've always wanted to own a BMW so i can cruise around in my spare time" etc. [those of you who have seen the show know what i'm talking about].
from now on, i'm oversharing. next time someone comes into work with a camera crew and claims to be on some reality show competition, i'm going to introduce myself as "paula - the one who pays $650 in rent each month, an $80 phone bill, and would die to throw the first pitch at a jays' game".
overshare for the win.
take undercover boss for example. below are four lessons i 'learned' from the last episode alone.
1) as stated in my last blog, appreciation goes a long, long way.
2) everyone has a story. get to know those you lead.
3) don't ever be 'too important' or 'too successful' to serve, or 'too good' to clean toliets.
4) and lastly, oversharing gets you everything you need.
i'm partially kidding here. but really, i can't help but laugh at some of the things people tell the one they're training after knowing them for all of an hour. it's like they know that the trainee isn't who they claim to be.
undercover boss: "what do you like to do in your spare time?"
employer: "i don't have spare time. my brother is sick and i have to take care of him" ... "i would love to go on [an all expense paid] trip to italy" ... "i've always wanted to own a BMW so i can cruise around in my spare time" etc. [those of you who have seen the show know what i'm talking about].
from now on, i'm oversharing. next time someone comes into work with a camera crew and claims to be on some reality show competition, i'm going to introduce myself as "paula - the one who pays $650 in rent each month, an $80 phone bill, and would die to throw the first pitch at a jays' game".
overshare for the win.
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