"elijah", God said. "i'm going to need you to separate yourself from all that's familiar and comfortable and go sit by a brook."

of course, i am paraphrasing here, but that's the jist of it; God was asking elijah to leave his comfort zone and sit by the kerith ravine, which, coincidentally, by definition means 'to cut off' or 'to separate', and i feel like God is asking me to do something similar in the season ahead.

ever felt that way? ever felt like God (or life) was asking you to separate yourself from something? your boyfriend or girlfriend? that job? your circle of friends? your community or church?

maybe some of you feel that way right now - fall is a season of transition, after all - and stepping into something usually requires letting go of something else.

but here's the clincher, God will meet you on the other side of the separation, just like he did for elijah.

let's pick the story back up in 1 kings 17 vs 4.

"you will drink from the brook, and i have directed the ravens to supply you with food there." so he did what the Lord had told him. he went to the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan, and stayed there. the ravens brought him bread and meat in the morning and bread and meat in the evening, and he drank from the brook. (so much cooler than skip the dishes!)

vs 6: "some time later the brook dried up because there had been no rain in the land. then the word of the Lord came to him: “Go at once to Zarephath in the region of Sidon and stay there. i have directed a widow there to supply you with food.”

there are those words again. "i have directed"

i cried tears of relief this past week when i noticed the pattern here.

God asked elijah to leave all that he knew behind, but he took care of him moving forward.

his need? food and water. mine? community.

i've spent the last two years investing in and attending a church, a great church that i believe in and love. i got sick (sicker than i have been in over a decade) and took a sabbatical from it. i believed that is what i needed to do and i was right; it was the healthiest and wisest decision i could have made at the time, and i planned on going back once i started to feel like myself again.

the trips i took this month were really good for me - i started to feel stronger and had every intention of going back. but for some reason, i believe the Lord is stopping me from doing so. He confirmed it through a few people - one of which didn't know me (or anything about my life) - and then through the story i just referred to in this blog a few hours later.

truthfully, it doesn't make any sense. not only does it not line up with one of my biggest desires (to be a part of a church and community), but it goes against everything i've been trying to do and build, and against a pattern in my life that i am desperately trying to break and avoid repeating (running away.)

but ... sometimes he calls you to a brook.

and even though i'm scared i'll fall through the cracks or battle loneliness the rest of my life and never feel a part of a church community again, this is the path i believe i must walk down. and even though i may not understand why He's asking me to walk away from something i need and love or what that looks like for me moving forward, i'm certain that like elijah, He will direct my steps and take care of me, too.

"in their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps" [proverbs 16:9]