i was in and out of the walk in clinic in less than twenty minutes today - meds in hand and all.

next week marks a month on fluoxetine. i haven't gotten my menstrual cycle yet (sorry, fellas) so it's hard to see if they're working in their entirety, but i feel good about being on them and haven't experienced any of the many negative side-effects that the pharmacist warned me about when i picked up my first bottle; i'd say that's a win-win.

i've been keeping track of my moods, though. every day before i go to bed, i write a line or two in my journal, stating how i felt that day and the circumstances that could have influenced my mood either way. happy to report that i haven't had a bad day since the last thursday in november, in fact, most of my days have been full of the people i love and ... so much christmas.

taking care of yourself is in no ways easy, especially in such a demanding season, but i've learned that it's most beneficial.

i woke up late this morning (sleep is a part of taking care of yourself) and was reminded by facebook that it was this day three years a go when i got the call saying that we were running out of time and that i had to make the trek to ottawa if i wanted to see my mom before she passed away (this was completely unexpected or i else i would have already been there.) i could replay that day over and over in my head if i wanted to, but instead, i choose to remember her, thank God that she made it through that day and that we got to spend one last Christmas with her.

i've realized today how important it is to remember. we can get so caught up in the the joy and busyness of the season that we forget to pause and feel. feel the grief. the loss. the hole. the excitement. the love, the joy, and most importantly, the reason for the season (and the one who carries us through the chaos), Jesus.

need some help with this today? have a listen to "light of the world" by lauren daigle. it's on repeat over here.

merry christmas, everyone.