the morning my dad died at home, a resident of my parent's building came downstairs to tell my mom that the ambulance woke him up. her very gracious response to his irrational complaint still makes me proud. (truth be told, i may have punched him.)

"i'm so sorry, _____", she said. "that must have been so hard for you."

i couldn't help but think of this as i read a copious amount of hate comments spewed at those who called 911 over the most recent amber alert.

now, let it be said that i find the fact that people were pissed enough to call 911 and complain extremely sad (and the outcome, much sadder), but people are people and people are selfish, and if we're honest, we can all put ourselves in the selfish category at times.

i'm there now, actually.

in the next four weeks, i have to look for a place to live, pack and get my room ready for sale, plan for, and host, two back to back teams, get some more fundraising done so i can continue to host more students, study for (and write) an exam (i crushed three questions today) and meet with a panel to discuss it before writing a paper and meeting with an even bigger panel, AND make it to ottawa in time for the birth of my nephew, jensen joseph, when i get the call to do so.

the thing is, although i tend to thrive when i'm busy (i would take this over being bored any day), it feels like a lot. i have to continually remind myself to take one day at a time, to take deep breaths, and allow myself to shut myself off from the world (for the most part) in order get things done.

my friends and family have always been a priority to me. i take pride (maybe that's the wrong word) in my ability to drop things and show up for them, and as a two (the helper) on the enneagram, i find it extremely hard not to; helping people is a part of my identity, in fact. but i have to do what i have to do. we all do.

ps. there are, of course, a handful of people who i would (still) drop (almost) anything for - you know who you are - and when push comes to shove, i still need human connection and a bit of a social life, both of which keep me (arguably) sane.