let me tell you about a time when i needed strength.

my mom and i had just spent the night in emerge. her stomach had filled up with fluid again and the only known pain relief came in the form of an all night draining process. she reached for my hand when they put the I.V in and i didn't let go until they pulled it out five hours later.

she was drained (literally and figuratively) - we both were - and be it 5:00a.m. when we left, we were more than ready for bed. only my mom didn't have the strength to climb the one - normally very small step - on the front porch, and i didn't have the strength to help her up.

that's what facebook reminded me of today; the time when i didn't have enough strength to help my mom up.

what seemed like an hour later, my mom made it up the front step and found herself falling asleep on the white plastic chair at my sister's front door. you know the kind i'm talking about - the kind you pull up to the campfire when all of your good, comfy chairs are taken. i wanted more than anything for her to be able to fall asleep in her bed, but unfortunately, there were stairs in the way of that, too.

so i sat on the bottom step, put my head against the wall, cried out to God and told him how tired i was and how i wasn't strong enough to 'do this' anymore, and stayed watch until my mom woke up a few hours later. she made it to the couch later that morning, and i laid down on the one beside her.

facebook also reminded me that my Champ of a Mom conquered the 14 stairs required to make it to her bed that night. i tucked her in, kissed her forehead and said goodnight, to which she replied, "goodnight, paula. i hope tomorrow's better."

"i do, too, mom. i do, too", i said as i flicked off her light.

and it was better. tomorrow almost always is. almost. but when it's not, let God be strong for you like He was for me that day (and every day since without her.)

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble" (psalm 46:1)