it's funny how we can walk the same route each day and miss the beauty of the path we're on.

my nine year old nephew ethan asked me to accompany his grade three class to the nature museum last week. between playing "paula-saurus" hide and seek in the dinosaur section and creating a highly entertaining bird radio show in, well, the bird section, i had a considerable amount of time to walk around and take it all in.

nature fascinates me. i'm blown away by the intricate detail that went into every living creature, every rock, each and every person, and creation, period. in fact, i find it exceptionally hard to walk away from a place like this without feeling like i'm dragging my chin off of the floor, and i certainly can't leave such a place without feeling a deep sense of connection to the One responsible for creating it all.

i don't know about you, but i never want my life to lose what i call the 'wow' factor; i never want to come to the place where things become so familiar and ordinary that i, like the grade three class i accompanied to the museum that day, never lose my childlike sense of wonder.

too many of us treat life like 'the amazing race'; we rush through it so fast just to 'get there' that we end us missing the beauty of the journey itself.

so what are you waiting for? stop where you are, take a deep breath, open your eyes, look around, and soak it all in.

i've been sitting here for days [not literally of course] trying to pound out a blog about the day long interview i just had, and the journey i'm about to embark on as a result, but my words have come up empty. while i'm still attempting to put my heart down on paper, i have something else to share with you today.

this may come as a surprise to some of you, but i am the biggest toronto blue jays' fan. i went to five games in one week last summer among other games, paid a scalper $75 for regular $11 tickets to ensure that i got the full home opener experience, and i took the five hour greyhound trek from ottawa to toronto last week to catch their second game. on top of all of this, as long as i can help it, i catch every single game on TV, followed by each game's highlights afterwards, just in case i missed something the first time.

and last night was no different.

let me set the stage for you. toronto was coming off of a two day losing streak; seattle, seven. toronto is known for their ability to hit; seattle, not so much. it looked like a no brainer, really. the odds were in their favour; the jays should have crushed them.

i fell asleep in the top of the seventh inning, and, as predicted, the jays were up 7-0. seven to nothing, people. that's quite the gap. it was fair to say that i could fall asleep with another victory under their, er, our, belt.

to my surprise, however, i woke up to the whole seattle mariners' team jumping for joy around home plate. surely they weren't that excited to lose eight games in a row, were they?

i wish that were the case, but to my dismay, they were celebrating a ... win.

what the heck happened, i wondered? we were up seven runs with two innings left. and then two innings later, we were up 7-6 with only out left to go. we should have had it!

despite their record of 2 and 7 [the 7 losses being the result of their last seven games played], and the fact that the jays' dominated over half of the game, the mariners ... hear this ...

DIDN'T GIVE UP.

they took advantage of every walk issued. they batted and scored. caught and threw out. played hard, and came back.

could you imagine if they had chalked it up as an other loss by giving up in the seventh inning when all odds were against them? not only would they have headed to the locker room even more discouraged than when they came out, but they would have missed out on possibly one of their greatest and sweetest victories yet.

this got me thinking. can't the same be said about life sometimes? aren't we too apt to quit when the odds are stacked against us? when we're down 7-0 in the seventh? when things don't look good? or feel right?

no matter what you're facing today, i'm here to encourage you not to give up - your victory could be just around the corner!

so take heart. persevere, and get back on the field. the game is far from over.

it's been said that the amount of blows it takes you to blow out your birthday candles equals the amount of boyfriends you have. i should know; i was reminded of this a few weeks ago when i celebrated one. 31 candles are a lot to blow out, i'll have you know, but juggling four boyfriends is much harder.

okay, okay. i don't really have four boyfriends. in fact, i don't even have ... one.

that's right. do the math. 31, and single. alone. by myself. table for one. riding solo. i'm riding solo, i'm riding solo. [this musical interlude has been brought to you by jason derulo].

each year it seems as though more and more people jump on the "we need to find paula a husband" bandwagon. it's not uncommon for me to get an email stating that the sender is 'praying that God sends me a man soon', nor is it uncommon for someone to come up to me and boldly say such things to my face. now, let it be known that i LOOOOOOOVE men [a lot actually - especially when they look like derek morgan from criminal minds or the mcdreamy/steamy combo from greys], but i can't help but wonder something - is that what people see when they look at me? someone who is ... missing something?

because that's not what i see. i see a young woman who has traveled the world. i see a 31 year old who lives a life of purpose. i see someone who is about to see yet another dream come true. i see beauty. confidence. humour. compassion. life. and the list goes on.

who do you see when you look in the mirror? do you simply see a role you play? a wife to ____? mom to _____? nurse? teacher etc? is your identity attached to who you know or what you are? or does it go much deeper than that?

you see, as a woman, the world would tell us that by the time we reach a certain age that we should have a husband, a kid or two [or more if we're crazy - just kidding nic], an ability to cook, bake, sew, whatever; and a green thumb to boot. i, on the other hand, am husband-less and kid-less. i can't hem a pair of pants for the life of me, and you will never - i repeat never - see me spending time in a garden. and you know something? i'm okay with that.

now don't get me wrong, it's perfectly fine to be a wife, or a mom, or to fill any [or every] single one of the roles mentioned in this blog for that matter, but take it from me, ladies - IT'S EQUALLY OKAY if you don't!

here's the thing - and i want you to catch this: our identity shouldn't be found in who we know or what we do.

because truth be told, when everything is stripped away, it's not going to matter whose wife you are, how many kids you have, what you do for a living, or how well you can sing, cook a meal, or whatever else you take pride in. all that's going to matter is who you belong to and who are you are a result: a loved and cherished daughter of the king!

i'm about to go catch some UFC with my siblings. if i can be honest with you, the thought of watching people fight for hours isn't my favourite way to spend a saturday night. admittedly, it's growing on me, though. i love the energy around me and the cheering that happens after a good hit; i have my favourite fighters, and moves, and i'm deeply intrigued by the support and encouragement that comes from each fighter's corner.

each fight i watch makes me more grateful that i have people in MY corner. usually, i'm the one standing on the sidelines cheering my friends on during the fight; the one that wipes the sweat off their face in between rounds and makes sure they get adequate water; the one who encourages them, and glues their wounds together to prevent bleeding and further damage. but today? today i'm the one who needs the encouragement, and the cheering on. today i am the one who needs someone in MY corner. and i'm okay with that. after all, encouragers need encouragement, too.

i'm really tired of people 'messing with' my life. i'm tired of people spreading rumours about me to cover their own mistakes, not having my back when they know the truth, or lying so that they can get ahead.

i caught someone stealing at second cup. an employee actually. even though there were two other witnesses, this employee [who happens to be a friend of my boss's son] convinced our boss that i was lying, along with the other two employees, causing problems for me at work and forcing me to quit faster than i had planned.

the worst part is, even though they fired her and covered all of her shifts, they hired her back, and even though my other coworker told my boss to "go eff himself" and quit, they guilted him into coming back, too.

but here i am unemployed, and insulted, and left looking like the ... idiot. when in actuality, i wasn't the one who stole, lazed around or told my boss where to go. i was honest and forthright. hard working. dedicated, and, and, and ... the list goes on. funny how that works hey?

a small part of me regrets quitting, but a bigger part of me knows it was time, and for the best. i have been feeling a tug on my heart for the past month or so to pursue something else, but i think that the fact that i was 'needed' there, comfortable with the job, and the fact that i felt a great deal of purpose with the whole 'just a CUPel of words' thing kept me from moving forward.

so here i go ... again. back in the ring and ready for my opponent. i'm focused, my fists are up, and thankfully, the voices coming from MY corner are far louder than the ones coming from the opposing side.

let's do this.

this is an email i just got from my boss, samir, from head office:

Hi folks:
I received this message from our head office regarding a customer appreciation to our staff initiation, the idea created by our trouble maker Paula.

Congratulations! Samir, your team seems to be doing a great job.

To: Second Cup, Customer Care
Subject: Thank you

Good Morning
I am a frequent customer at the Second Cup at the corner of Lisgar St and Elgin St in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada.
While all employees there have great customer service skills, there is one who is quite unique. I can get her name if you need it. What this employee does in the quiet times (which is almost never) is write beautiful simple saying on the coffee cups…today's says Believe in yourself…Someone does. Each cup has a different saying

My colleagues and I really enjoy these little messages and always look forward to reading them.
I think this idea should be further explored by Second Cup…this employee is on to something good.
Thanks
Nathalie
Nathalie Rochefort

Call Solution: Thanked her for here wonderful feedback and told her that I will be sharing it with the franchise partner and the regional manager.

woooooooooooooooo.

small things count!

[check out previous posts for background]

can i just be honest with you? [rhetorical question]. writing on every cup that i hand out every day is ... well, exhausting. sometimes i only do it because it's expected or because people ask. and sometimes, just sometimes, i just don't feel like it. [gasp!]

would my customers actually be okay with getting an encouragement-less cup? would i actually be okay without wearing the 'encouraging barista' hat for a day?

truth is, i had no idea that something so small would become so huge and demanding.

truth is, though i would be the first one to tell that you words have power, i didn't know that writing inspirational words on coffee cups had this much power.

and i certainly didn't think that 'just a CUPel of words' had the ability to make someone's day to the point where they would call the store, ask us if we write on the cups personally, and tell us how much the words on their cup impacted them today.

i didn't know that a 'few seconds of my time' could "solve five months of conflict" at a customer's work as a lady pointed out to me today before she walked out of my store feeling like a million bucks.

and i certainly didn't know that this whole cup thing would be the topic of discussion in downtown offices and around board room tables, as i'm reminded of on an almost daily basis by the people on the other side of the counter.

or that a picture of my cup would end up on twitter - or on some random girl's facebook. or that a cup would be found sitting on someone's desk for weeks.

i just. i just didn't know that this whole thing would become part of my identity.

that's the truth, isn't it? that the things we do for others have the ability to turn into a 'hat' we where? a role we play? an expectation others have. and ... get this ... part of our identity?

don't get me wrong, knowing i'm making a difference in the world around me makes a difference in mine, but on days like today, i 'just' want to be ...

paula.

i hate sweeping. like hate it. so much in fact, that i'd rather go into my closet, lug out my awkwardly huge vacuum, plug it in and vacuum the floor than pick up a broom. weird, i know. but i can't handle the frustration that comes with trying to get that last line of dirt up on the dustpan successfully. you know what i'm talking about; it happens to the best of us.

ashamedly, i've been known to sweep that line of dirt under the rug [or the fridge and stove for that matter] when no one's looking. [for those of you who have had their house clean by yours truly, consider this your aPAULAgy].

but what i've come to realize on moving day, if not sooner, is that, even though some may never know 'what lays underneath my rug', the dirt's still ... there.

as i'm about to embark on a new chapter in my life, i've been challenged to really take a look at myself lately; to face, and work on, the unhealthy things that consume me, control me, and some days even haunt me. i'm ready to sweep up the dirt if you will; the dirt that has been piled up under the rug for far too long and the dirt that i sadly even collected today.

goodbye, awkward vacuum. hello, broom!