Sunday, December 4, 2016

so and so winked at you, my email read.

i clicked on the click bait, only to find out that the man who winked at me was 55 years old. glad to know his eyelids work at that age, i thought.

moving on.

another wink. another old man.

what is with these older guys winking at me? i must change my profile. *erases "enjoys long walk[ers] on the beach" and "i can knit a mean blanket" out of the 'about me' section*.

seriously, though. WHAT IS WITH OLD MEN WINKING AT ME?

or indecisive men, or crazy men who scream at old ladies on the subway? [true story].

i paid for match dot com for three months [try no match dot com] and ... nothing. i was talking to two men at once [savage!] - even got to the 'texting stage' - even planned-ish two dates [not on the same night, thankfully] and then ... they didn't follow through. one texted me two nights later with a "hey you - what's up?". [i'll tell you what's up] - and the other vanished right before we were to meet. he was too busy with his two year old any ways. [which i admired about him].

a few weeks a go, i joined christian café, because, well, i like men and coffee. both black and strong, actually. [i'm somewhat kidding here - adding a little cream to your coffee never hurt any one].

as i was saying.

i got a lot of winks - like a lot of winks - but i don't reply to winks. like, say hi, or something.

finally, someone did. but he said way more than hi. in fact, he was yelling at me, telling me how HE LIKED MY STORY ABOUT LOVE AND WANTS TO LIVE AND DIE WITH HIS WIFE, TOO! except, i don't know where he got this 'too' business; i never said i wanted to die with my husband. i don't. BECAUSE THAT'S WEIRD. i think he missed the whole "until death do us PART" part.

any ways.

you'll be happy to know that i got a wonderful email from a lovely man a few days later. one worth responding to for once. of course, i asked him if his eyelids worked [definitely a non negotiable], but i asked him other stuff, too. and he asked me stuff. after all, this is usually how this getting to know you thing works, you know.

you guys - he's white, as in not dark skinned, and i still gave him a chance.

we hit it off really well. i felt myself getting butterflies every time i saw that he emailed me. i smiled, and laughed, and went to bed smiling, and laughing. it was weird for me. especially at this stage.

he even humoured me and played along with some of my silly 'play on word' games, and he was good at it.

but then, a dozen emails later, he dropped the bomb. the "i saw my ex at a family and friend gathering yesterday and i still have feelings for her' bomb. he reassured me that it 'wasn't me', and that i'm 'flipping awesome' [which i am], and left the café for good. i felt a little sad for a few days. drinking coffee alone over here. but - and there's a but - i have a feeling that a good guy will come and sweep me off of my feet one day, and an even bigger feeling that i'll end up liking him a latte.