i dare not put myself at the crucifixion scene that day.

i mean, would i still be kicking myself in the butt for falling asleep on jesus when he asked me to keep watch (more than once!) prior to his capture? would i disappear, get up close and personal like the masses or watch from a distance like peter? would i join in the chant to crucify him or be placed on the cross next to him? depends on who i was in the story, i guess, but truth be told, i could have been anyone.

or how about the next day when all was still? would i have mourned with hope knowing that what jesus said was true and that who he said he was was true? or would the silent darkness cloud my belief and make me doubt both?

and how about when the tomb rolled away on the third day? what would i have done then? believe the rumours about the disciples stealing his body? make stuff up in my head to try and make sense of it all, search for concrete proof myself, or rejoice, knowing, again, he did what he said he was going to do?

the answer is, i don't know; i don't know what i would have done then, but i do know what i'll do now. i choose to believe. by golly, this easter, i choose to believe.

the story line makes sense. the evidence points to the gospel's validity. covenants were made and kept on God's end and prophesies were fulfilled; jesus, the long waited messiah came to earth in human form, was born in a manger (what up, christmas!), lived a sin-less life, exemplified what living a life of love and servant-hood should look like, and humbled himself enough to die on a cross for our sins - my sins - before 'sealing the deal' and coming back to life.

sure, we can read this blog (or better yet, the bible) and debate it - we weren't there - but i tell you one thing, He's changed my life! His love keeps me secure and grounded. His teachings motivate me to humble myself (still working on that) and live a selfless life full of love and one worthy of my calling (still working on this, too), and His unconditional love and grace transform me every single day, including, but not limited to, easter.

why, if you ask me, it's the greatest story ever told and i plan on celebrating it in style this weekend! who's with me?

i turned 39 last week. 39. i remember being a teenager and thinking that 39 was ancient, and now i don't. i'm just hitting my prime!

to celebrate, i decided to make a list of things i've learned along the way. my intent was to create 39 of them, but apparently i've only learned 23. still working on some, though.

without further ado...

24. allow for margin in your life. sometimes your bus is late or traffic sucks. (or you desperately need a coffee or bump into someone you know.)

23. find some kids to hang around and let loose. pretend to be a dinosaur. build a sand castle. play.

22. get some fresh air whenever you can.

21. hug your parents.

20. tip well. an extra few bucks here and there won't kill you (and will help someone pay their bills.)

19. hospitality is a gift. invite as many people over as you can, and sit around as many tables as you can.

18. let your friends buy you dinner once in a while. offer to buy theirs.

17. use names while talking to people and look them in the eye.

16. conflict should be approached with the intent to protect the relationship. (your relationship with a spouse, friend, job, whatever.)

15. counting to ten (and more when needed) changes the way you react.

14. find somewhere to volunteer.

13. travel the world and get to know other cultures. try new things and eat new food, listen to stories and see the world through their eyes.

12. don't be reckless with anyone's heart. don't let others be reckless with yours, either. (thanks, baz luhrmann.)

11. remember, the mirrors in a retail store are designed to make you look better than the ones at home. your clothes/appearance shouldn't define you any way.

10. when giving out your number, set boundaries right away. saying something like, "i will reply when i can" alleviates pressure (for you) and expectations (for others.)

9. nap when you can. (plus, you'll get an extra sit-up in.)

8. don't pick a career based on money. find one that makes you feel alive and makes good use of your gifts.

7. scared? do it any way! the scariest things have the greatest rewards.

6. what you see depends solely on what you look for. look for the good in people and the good all around you, and cling to it.

5. you will always find your way; what is for you will not pass you by.

4. people can't read your mind. say what's on it (with love and grace) - still learning this.

3. there is no script to ministry or life. (thanks, kim.) most things don't go as planned. be flexible.

2. celebrate your friends. show up to their weddings, baby showers, ordinations, birthday dinners, you name it.

1. follow Christ. He's the real deal, extremely trustworthy, constant and ever-present.