this blog is random and will lack flow. consider this your warning.
1) geese fascinate me.
here i was cruising down the highway yesterday engrossed in a conversation with my sister and bam - three flocks of geese fly over the jeep. [those of you who have ever driven with me know that flying objects - animals, planes, whatever - have the ability to grab my attention no matter how great the conversation is, and yesterday was no different]. immediately the david suzuki in me came out. i started talking about geese and how they honk at each other as a form of encouragement. i started talking about how if one goose becomes sick or injured, two other geese will leave the flock with them and won't return until the sick one is restored back to health. scientists have proven that this particular bird can achieve a greater distance of 70% when flying in groups rather than flying solo, using the same amount of energy. call me crazy, but i think we can learn a lot from geese. don't do life alone. encourage one another. surround people who are hurting.
2) i am not built for north american culture.
i live out of a hockey bag. i don't own any furniture. i own minimal clothes. i live a simple, basic life. i find that when i'm walking through a mall, though, my mindset changes. i find myself wanting the very stuff i don't need or find value in. i find myself getting mad at/jealous of people who can easily drop hundreds of dollars on new clothes and the like. so yesterday, "i gave in"; i found myself at the till with a $90 jacket. a really nice jacket. i felt good in it and i certainly looked good in it. but i couldn't afford it. so i returned it less than 15 minutes later.
now, is it wrong to buy yourself a jacket? not at all. is it wrong to buy new clothes? a new iPhone? anything? absolutely not. for me it was a matter of knowing how stressed i'd feel this week every time i put my new jacket on, or as i stay awake at night wondering when work's going to pick up so i don't have to live paycheck to paycheck. for me it was a matter of telling myself that i don't need a jacket to feel good [malls also make me feel fat] ... because i don't. true beauty needs to come from within, and the truth is, i have a ridiculously beautiful heart.
3) i'm becoming quite the introvert.
yes, me. there was a day where i would pack my schedule to the rim with social activity. now i find myself wanting to pack my schedule with alone time. my energy used to come from being around people, but now it comes from being 'alone'. but i'm okay with that. please be okay with that, too.
disclaimer: there are those few friendships in my life that i will continue to pursue and people i would hang out with at the drop of a hat. please also note that i'm not a jerk; if someone needs a friend, or some form of help, chances are i'm not going to turn them down in the name of alone time as balance and sacrifice are required with any relationship.
4) i appreciate 'safe' people.
i'm not referring to the 'don't say something you think i should hear/only say the things i want to hear' kind of safe here. i'm talking about those people who i can let my guard down with. those few people in my life who make me feel ... safe.
5) and lastly, i'm on a journey to living a more disciplined life.
week one: prayer. i'm happy to report that although there's always room for improvement, this week was a success. i prayed more and listened better.
week two: reading. fail. i started a really good book by the name of 'not a fan' by kyle idleman [check it out] and couldn't put it down. within days though, i found myself managing my time poorly and choosing sleep over any kind of reading that i should've been doing. i'm hoping to pick up the slack this week as i try and tackle a new discipline.
which brings me to this week. journaling. writing is something that comes naturally to me, in fact, there's nothing else i'd rather do. let's just hope my actions prove it :)