i was standing at the bus stop minding my own business when an elderly man approached me.

"excuse me, miss" he said, followed by his toothless grin. "do you have a loonie so i can buy a soda? i found this food around the corner and i would love a pop to wash it down with".

i couldn't help by stare at his dirty, half-eaten container of food.

"i sure do", i said. (i don't always have money to give them, but i happened to that day).

he vanished into the convenience store behind me as quickly as i pulled the loonie out of my pocket.

a few minutes later, he ran up to me an extra skip in his step. "thank you, thank you, thank you" he said with the same toothless grin that blessed my heart the first time. i, too, couldn't help but smile.

you see, he asked for a dollar for a pop - and get this - he bought a pop.

not all panhandlers spend their money on alcohol and drugs, and this is just one story out of many where i have seen this firsthand.

but, let me pose a question here - so what if they do?

don't we use drugs, alcohol, sex, netflix, food (enter anything else here) to cope with our pain? how can we expect anything less from 'them'?

and better yet, does our responsibility lay within our willingness to give when we're able to, or in how they spend the change we place in their cups? (because if that's the case, we should probably stop tipping our servers at the restaurants we go to because a lot of their tips go right back to the bar after work).

addictions are real things, sure. and a small percentage of people are on the streets because of theirs. i get it. (but even still)

but not all are.

some are there because they fled from a level of abuse that i can't comprehend and their alternative is worse. others, because their job got outsourced and they couldn't find another. some because of mental illness, and others because of the family/societal structure they were born into and they can't seem to break the cycle. it's hard to break a cycle, after all.

now, let it be said that i can't possibly (and don't) give to every single panhandler i see on the street, and i'm not asking you to, either. all i'm asking is that you - we - challenge ourselves to break down the preconceived ideas and judgements that we have about why they're there and what 'they will do with the money we give them' and extend a little grace to a fellow human in need. if you have an extra loonie floating around, say hi and hand it to them, and if you don't, make eye contact and say hi any way.