i keep picturing my mom putting her hands on her face when the doctor told her that her cancer was back last week. my heart breaks just thinking about it.
but today, i got word that she hugged the same doctor and 'thanked him for everything' after he told her the chemo was most likely the route she would have to take this round, and my heart was full of pride, so much pride.
my mom is the sweetest person i know, always thinking of others, even in the midst of her own health struggle.
next week, i'll be the one hugging her when she comes to toronto for more tests, and i will hug her tightly, because, well, you just never know. [you should hug all of your loved ones tightly any chance you get, really].
statistically, most don't make it through the second round, and truthfully, we all have a bad - deep gutted - feeling about it this time.
but we can't get stuck there.
we must walk through this without wasting a moment of time together, and always hope for the best.
in the meantime, i look to the hills [psalm 121:1-2] and pray, i write, and, as my old [as in previous] spiritual mom once told me, i "let myself cry, then wipe the tears from my eyes and keep going".
no matter what, you have to keep going.