i don't really know how to go about saying what i'm about to say in regards to something that has been keeping me up at night this past week, but i'm going to try and attempt to express my thoughts any way. (this is my blog, after all.) ;)

a lot of it is has to do with people's opinions, mind you. i mean, we all have them. but there's a difference between sharing our educated opinion in a respectful manner and spewing our pain and personal agenda onto others in a hateful and hurtful one. especially while using a public platform.

so, i'm going to practice what i preach here and assure you that the issues i am about to unpack in this (and my next) blog have been well thought out and researched, and will be done so from a posture of respect. (that being said, as always, i am open for discussion providing that this, too, can be done so in a respectful manner.)

i think we can all agree (at least 99% of us) that the shooting that happened in florida last week was tragic and preventable. why some teenager had access to a gun (although we all know why) and had the audacity to take innocent people's lives with it is extremely heartbreaking, and frankly, quite scary.

but the response that has come from all of this has left me feeling sad, too.

i get it. it's in our nature to point fingers in attempt to try and make sense of something (even when we can't) with the hope of coming up with the proper solution, but our approach is off when we start believing that social media debates are helpful and/or worth our time.

i'm speaking from experience here. i have spent more time than i'd like to admit reading (and rereading) my friends' facebook posts and scrolling my own twitter feed this past week, and frankly, this is probably why certain issues have been on the forefront of my mind as of late. but i can't be the only one being affected by this, and i surely can't be the only one thinking that there isn't only one solution to preventing a mass shooting from ever happening again. call me crazy, or even naive, but i believe that there are many things that played a factor in this tragedy and the 18 shootings that have happened in america so far this year, starting with the obvious: (lack of) gun control.

i don't live in america (thanks, captain obvious) and so my research on gun laws and such is limited to the several articles i've read and clips that i've watched, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that an AR-15 (or anything similar, whether it has a certain grip or folding stock or not) has no place in the hands of a mentally unstable teenager. or any teenager for that matter. or a 64 year old man hanging out of a hotel window in vegas. or a teacher in the name of defence. or anyone, really. (unless you're a soldier at war which is a whole other blog and not something i necessarily agree with, either.) so trying to eliminate semi-automatic rifles is a start; that florida kid (i refuse to put his name in print) wouldn't have done as much damage with a pistol or a knife. or (enter any other available weapon here.)

of course, lenient background checks play a factor, too. AND inadequate mental health care. AND the lack of thorough FBI follow ups and training. AND society's inability to be able to recognize warning signs and report them (there were many people in this case specifically who heard the kid say some really questionable things including expressing interest in school shootings). AND sometimes, (certain) video games/the isolation they can create, AND at times, poor parenting.

now let it be said that in no ways am i about to jump on the "lazy parenting is to blame here" bandwagon, - parenting is really, really hard - in fact, reading through these types of comments infuriate me (especially this time around seeing as how this specific kid lost both of his parents within the last few years due to death, which also could have played a part in this), but at the risk of sounding like john lennon here, i do believe that 'love is all we need' and that the love and sense of belonging we (should) receive from our parents (in its various forms), the love that we share with each other day in and day out, and the unconditional love that i believe that God has available for all of us, is part of the solution.

part
of
it.

that's the whole point to this blog, actually; there are so many factors involved in finding a solution and so many steps required for change.

so what do we do? (a question that has kept me up at night this week.)

if i'm being honest, i still don't know.

for some, it may look like getting rid of your gun(s) like that new york man (scott pappalardo) did, changing your vote OR actually voting. (i'm not here to preach at you or to tell you who to vote for; my name may be paula, but i am not a pro when it comes to PAULAtics). for students and survivors like emma gonzalez, cameron kasky and david hogg, or fred guttenburg, one of the victim's parents, it may look like standing up to the marco rubios (florida's senator) and the dana loeschs (spokeswoman for the NRA) and demanding answers. to others, it may not look like anything at all; truthfully, sometimes, all we know how to do is offer ‘thoughts & prayers’ or write blogs ...

but for goodness' sake, people, can we please stop wasting our time and tearing each other apart on facebook and twitter and have serious, action-based conversations instead?