my program director called me into the office and passed me an envelope with my mom's handwriting on it. outside of a tiny 'alliston, ontario' on the top left corner, it had no return address, but i could tell it was from her.

confused as to why my director handed it to me, i looked up.

"just open it", she said.

inside this mysterious envelope was not only a $20 bill, but explicit instructions to “give this money to a student in need". a paragraph later, it explained how grateful this 'anonymous lady' was for all the help other people had given her daughter (that would be me) that year and wanted to pay it forward. my mom was thoughtful and generous.

i had a teacher call me fat in high school. the minute i came home and told my mom what she said is the minute she picked up the phone and gave it to her. and by gave it to her i mean she pretty much threatened her life (or at least her teaching career.) my mom was feisty and protective.

but she was also softhearted; she hugged every nurse that helped her throughout her cancer treatment and hospital visits, including her family doctor minutes after he reluctantly told her that her cancer was terminal and that there was nothing else they could do for her. (i know this because i was there and i can't stop thinking about it.) my mom was appeciative.

during her stay at the princess margaret cancer lodge, my mom would often galavant into the neighbourhood in between appointments. on her stroll one afternoon, she saw a homeless man diving through the garbage looking for food. "i took my wallet out and gave him my last $5", she said. "could you imagine having to do that?". my mom was compassionate.

not to mention selfless. she spent the last sixteen years of her marriage taking care of my dad as he deteriorated, 'forcing' her to sacrifice so many things (some of which i wouldn't even dare to write in this blog) to ensure that my dad never suffered alone. she pushed through the stress and 'burden' of it all with minimal complaint - even when it cost her her own health - proving to my dad that she stood by the vows she made on her wedding day and proving to my siblings and i that although love can be messy, it’s also durable. my mom exemplified sacrificial love.

and influence. i'll never forget reading a post a woman had written on her facebook wall the week she passed away. she recounted time after time when my mom's sense of humour and welcoming nature helped her overcome her battles with (school related) anxiety.

when i was young, my mom drove a school bus and she was great at it. even won first place in their annual bus driving competition. i remember that day so well, actually - just as much as i remember sitting in the front seat as a young kid as she drove around making her rounds - but what i don't remember, and would have had no way of knowing at the time, is how much of a difference she made in the lives of the students who boarded her bus each day. reading this particular tribute three decades later made me beam with pride; my mom was a difference maker.

of course, she was one of the funniest people you'd ever meet, too. you couldn't possibly be in her presence for more than a few minutes without laughing uncontrollably and getting your ab workout for the day.

she was hilarious, thoughtful, generous, feisty, protective, appreciative, soft hearted, compassionate, influential, an example and a difference maker, and so much more, but today, above all of these things, on what would have been her 72nd birthday, she is fondly remembered and still worth celebrating.

happy birthday, mom. love you and miss you every. single. day. xo