sometimes, you have to face scary, uncomfortable things.

it could be in the form of of a hard conversation. or the need to get on an airplane even though they petrify you, or the need to visit someone really sick in a hospital room or show up to a funeral without knowing what to say. (who does, really?)

other times, it can come in the form of a doctor's appointment. like the one i have scheduled for tomorrow morning.

i've been having problems with my uterus (sorry, fellas), or right kidney (they're not sure) the past few months. sharp pains and jabs, to be exact. and frankly, it scares me. why? because i play the 'what if?' game a lot and because my mom died of uterine cancer. (worst case scenerio.)

of course, it could be a cyst, or something not life-altering, but it also could be the complete opposite, and it's going to take a really uncomfortable test to figure it out. (just writing that makes me cringe.)

but like i said, sometimes, you have to face scary, uncomfortable things.

but how?

here are three things that have helped me face scary things in the past (and will help me do the same tomorrow morning):

1. remind yourself that others have endured the very thing you fear.

i am not the first woman to have to go through with this dumb test (or the last), and i am certainly not the only one who has faced internal complications. if someone else can get through it, so can i. (and so can you.)

2. tell someone your fears and bring them to the light.

we all need people in our lives that we're comfortable enough to share our fears with. no need for over sharing (though some of you think i went there already with this blog lol), but bringing your fears into the light can make you feel less alone in it/them. more often than not, the person you're sharing with can help you process and help you shed some perspective on that which has the ability to paralyze you. don't let it paralyze you - share your fears with someone you trust.

and lastly, and most importantly,

3. train your brain to stop dwelling on the worst case scenerio and the 'what ifs?'.

listen, i am a huge fan of feeling and processing and i think both are important, but nobody gains anything by sitting at home and picturing your plane hitting the ground at rapid speed or your test results coming back negative. are both a possibility? sure. but we don't have control over such things, so why dwell on things that we can't control?

my counsellor back in the day taught me a valuable lesson; he told me that not only do our brains naturally pull towards the negative, but that in order to conquer those thoughts (which i have since learned is possible), we have to replace them with something positive.

i have a few incredible memories on hand: the time i checked the last remaining thing off of my original bucket list and jumped out of a fully functioning airplane, the time i saw a dream of mine come true when i brought a group of teenagers with me to africa and how we watched a whole village of people dance and praise God FOR HOURS when they saw that someone back home had donated a bunch of brand new cups and bowls for them to use for their porridge, or the day when i found out my good friend had bought me tickets to a jays' playoff game and how we couldn't stop screaming (and crying) when we waved our white flags in victory.

any time i find myself dwelling on something negative, i automatically re-live one of the above memories, and it works every single time.

but even still, sometimes (a lot of the time), you need to dwell on something far more powerful, too. like scripture.

verses like 1 Peter 5:7 that remind me to 'cast all of my anxiety on Him because He cares for me (you)'. or isaiah 41:10 that tells me (us) that i (we) don't have to fear because the Lord is with me (us). or, one of my favourites (today especially), philippians 4:6-7, do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation (including doctors appointments), by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. and - get this - the peace that passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus".

feeling fearful? choose peace.