what is 5,486 feet long, 308 feet tall, and hits a top speed of 92 miles/hour? (thanks, wikipedia)

the leviathan, of course.

i have a love-hate relationship with this particular roller coaster. i love every minute of the actual ride. the anticipation. the buckling in. the brief "there's no turning back now" moment on the way up. the drop - especially the drop - the tunnel. heck, the whole darn thing.

but what i hate about this particular ride is how dull it makes every other ride look. the vortex bores me now. the dragon fire? not even worth lining up for. everything else seems boring in comparison.

it's kind of like how i feel now that i've been skydiving; everything feels so dull compared to signing your life away, and nothing - i repeat, nothing - is as thrilling as that split second you find yourself pulling your shoot in hopes that it'll open or the free fall that comes seconds before it.

isn't life like a roller coaster sometimes? for me it is, any ways. maybe you guys are all on the ground eating a funnel cake while i'm getting free chiropractic work on the mimebuster, i don't know. (SERIOUSLY, THOUGH - THOSE WOODEN ROLLER COASTERS ARE CHEAPER THAN A CHIROPRACTOR.)

any ways.

i learned something valuable about myself after the montreal team left: it's really important for me to have something to look forward to after a really high high. (a friend of mine recommended that, actually.)

my heart was so full that week. i was living my dream. hanging out with youth in my favourite city. bridging the gap between my students and those stricken with poverty. using my gifts. i seriously could have come home, did my laundry, and started all over again. i felt so alive.

and then, after a day of rest (that's all i really need physically), i felt the opposite; bored and purposeless. i had way too much time on my hands and 'nothing' to do with it.

the vortex. i was on the vortex.

but here's the thing. while the vortex may not be as appealing as the leviathan (or half as cool), it's still in the same park; a really, really, fun park. with cotton candy and funnel cake.

life can seem dull, sure. one day, things are great, and the next, not so great. one week, we have a lot going on, and the next, not enough. but it's all a gift.

i had to remind myself of this when depression creeped in out of nowhere, knocked me off of my feet, and left me feeling suffocated and gasping for air this week. (only those who suffer will know that i'm not trying to be dramatic here.)

but, thanks to God's love and compassion and my ability to scrape myself out of bed, have a bath, and attend an easter dinner i was invited to (which just so happened to be a surprise (early) birthday party for me also!), i'm not only breathing again, but i'm buckled in in anticipation of what's ahead: my quarterly review at work, teaching our alpha course on wednesday in regent park and a pre-trip workshop on homelessness to a group of students in elmvale (does anyone even know where this is? j/k) after that. and then it's my birthday. lots going on. the leviathan.

but don't worry - i learned my lesson last time around and booked a short two and half day trip to ottawa right after that, because, well, you gotta have things to look forward to, and as i was reminded of last week, family time is good for the soul.