death has a weird way of making one think about life.
i sat in the sixth row for rick robson's funeral yesterday, but felt as though i had front row seats to his life. anyone who has ever walked into his home, office, or life did, really. he was just that kind of man.
the kind of man who let you in. the kind of man who you felt comfortable enough to let in.
he was kind, and generous. wise, and honest. integral, and full of joy.
a faithful husband. a loving father. a mentor. a friend.
i miss him. i missed him the day i found out he passed away, and i miss him today. i always will. all of us will.
but he lives on in our hearts, and in our lives. because although he passed away, his impact continues, and his legacy lives on.
what kind of legacy will i leave, i wonder? what will people say about me when i die? what will people say about you?
Sunday, June 7, 2015
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
1) you are more resilient than you think you are. those very things that set out to destroy you in life only make you stronger, or, at the very least, more understanding and compassionate towards those who are enduring the same thing, or will be at a later date.
2) there are over seven billion people in this world; don't let one person ruin your day. [easier said that done, i know, but we spend way too much time and energy thinking about 'people who don't matter'].
3) by the same token, everyone matters. this doesn't excuse certain behaviour or mean that you should put up with abuse of any kind, but i've come to learn that 'hurt people hurt people'; there's always a reason behind somebody's actions, habits, and responses. everyone has a story.
4) we spend so much time dreaming about what life will look like when 'we're done' high school, and then college, and after that we start thinking about what life will look like when we're married, and have kids, and/or find a career, and then when we have these things [if we do], we spend time counting down the days until retirement instead of embracing where we are now, when in actuality we should be treasuring the 'now' because we won't get our 'now' back later.
5) embrace the fact that sometimes, you just have to throw grammar out the window and write really long sentences like the one above.
6) put your phones down once in a while. the world will go on if you can't reply to a text right away or refresh your facebook feed every ten seconds.
7) laugh more. get around funny people. turn on a funny show. pick up a comic, whatever. just laugh more, and laugh loudly.
8) travel. the world is full of beauty, culture, people, and different perspective than what you will find in your comfortable bubble.
9) give. find a cause that's dear to your heart and donate some money. look for a friend in need of help and give them some of your time.
10) forgive. bitterness does nothing to the person who's hurt you, but it'll eat you alive.
11) if you still have breath in your lungs, you still have purpose, and it's never too late to chase your dreams.
12) let the people in your life know that you love and appreciate them, and how they enrich your life.
13) music is more powerful than you think. sing more, and dance more.
14) nothing is ever as bad as it seems or as bad as we let ourselves think it is.
15) don't be afraid to be alone; a healthy dose of loneliness can be good for you.
16) try new things. challenge is good, and adventure, better.
17) make-up is meant to enhance, not define. spend some time on your outward appearance, sure, but spend even more time on building your character, because, well, who you are lasts, and what you look like now will not.
18) naps are a beautiful thing. [plus, they give you a chance to an extra 'sit-up' a day].
19) never let success get to your head. never let failure get to your heart.
20) people will fail you, and although we may not understand why certain things happen to us or our loved ones, God will not. live accordingly.
2) there are over seven billion people in this world; don't let one person ruin your day. [easier said that done, i know, but we spend way too much time and energy thinking about 'people who don't matter'].
3) by the same token, everyone matters. this doesn't excuse certain behaviour or mean that you should put up with abuse of any kind, but i've come to learn that 'hurt people hurt people'; there's always a reason behind somebody's actions, habits, and responses. everyone has a story.
4) we spend so much time dreaming about what life will look like when 'we're done' high school, and then college, and after that we start thinking about what life will look like when we're married, and have kids, and/or find a career, and then when we have these things [if we do], we spend time counting down the days until retirement instead of embracing where we are now, when in actuality we should be treasuring the 'now' because we won't get our 'now' back later.
5) embrace the fact that sometimes, you just have to throw grammar out the window and write really long sentences like the one above.
6) put your phones down once in a while. the world will go on if you can't reply to a text right away or refresh your facebook feed every ten seconds.
7) laugh more. get around funny people. turn on a funny show. pick up a comic, whatever. just laugh more, and laugh loudly.
8) travel. the world is full of beauty, culture, people, and different perspective than what you will find in your comfortable bubble.
9) give. find a cause that's dear to your heart and donate some money. look for a friend in need of help and give them some of your time.
10) forgive. bitterness does nothing to the person who's hurt you, but it'll eat you alive.
11) if you still have breath in your lungs, you still have purpose, and it's never too late to chase your dreams.
12) let the people in your life know that you love and appreciate them, and how they enrich your life.
13) music is more powerful than you think. sing more, and dance more.
14) nothing is ever as bad as it seems or as bad as we let ourselves think it is.
15) don't be afraid to be alone; a healthy dose of loneliness can be good for you.
16) try new things. challenge is good, and adventure, better.
17) make-up is meant to enhance, not define. spend some time on your outward appearance, sure, but spend even more time on building your character, because, well, who you are lasts, and what you look like now will not.
18) naps are a beautiful thing. [plus, they give you a chance to an extra 'sit-up' a day].
19) never let success get to your head. never let failure get to your heart.
20) people will fail you, and although we may not understand why certain things happen to us or our loved ones, God will not. live accordingly.
Sunday, May 31, 2015
'jesus wept' is one of the most well known verses in the whole bible, and yet the purpose of it being in there is often overlooked. to me, this verse holds a lot of weight, because it's through this very verse that we're able to see Christ's ability, and willingness, to associate with our pain.
let me take a brief second to set the story up for you.
a man named lazarus got sick and died, and as expected, his sisters, mary and martha, were in mourning. not only that, but they were frustrated with Christ's, in their opinion, inaction, even though he knew the outcome all along. [check out the story for yourself in john 11:1-44]
let's pick up the story in verse 32.
"when mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
vs 33: "when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled".
and three verses later comes the most overly memorized scripture in the whole bible: "jesus wept".
according to verse four, Christ knew that his sickness wouldn't result in death, so why weep?
because, get this, he was moved by compassion for mary and martha and felt their pain. and you know something? he feels yours, too.
to the robsons, he weeps with you.
to anyone else who is feeling insurmountable pain, or any one of you who find yourself crying yourself to sleep at night for whatever reason, he weeps with you, too.
it doesn't take the pain away, i know. but it helps. at least i hope it does.
and if it doesn't, i'm banking on the below promise for you tonight; i'm banking on it for us.
"God is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" [psalm 34:18]
let me take a brief second to set the story up for you.
a man named lazarus got sick and died, and as expected, his sisters, mary and martha, were in mourning. not only that, but they were frustrated with Christ's, in their opinion, inaction, even though he knew the outcome all along. [check out the story for yourself in john 11:1-44]
let's pick up the story in verse 32.
"when mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
vs 33: "when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled".
and three verses later comes the most overly memorized scripture in the whole bible: "jesus wept".
according to verse four, Christ knew that his sickness wouldn't result in death, so why weep?
because, get this, he was moved by compassion for mary and martha and felt their pain. and you know something? he feels yours, too.
to the robsons, he weeps with you.
to anyone else who is feeling insurmountable pain, or any one of you who find yourself crying yourself to sleep at night for whatever reason, he weeps with you, too.
it doesn't take the pain away, i know. but it helps. at least i hope it does.
and if it doesn't, i'm banking on the below promise for you tonight; i'm banking on it for us.
"God is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" [psalm 34:18]
Monday, May 25, 2015
"okay, grab a piece on construction paper and fold it in half", my teacher said. "now, with the border facing you, write one of your names in bubble letters like this", he said as he showed the visual learners like myself what the heck he was talking about. "now, with the paper still folded, cut your name out, and then unfold the paper. voila - a monster for you to decorate!"
i'll have you know that i had the biggest and baddest constructo-monster ever to step foot in that classroom. so you can imagine my disappointment when i found out what i'm about to share with you when i brought my artwork home that night.
my parents loved my craft and beamed with pride at their personal picasso, after all, this piece was clearly refrigerator worthy.
"that's great, hunny", my dad said, "but who's elizabella?"
"daddddd", i said in a playful tone. "that's my middle name"
he looked at mom. she looked at me.
"what?" i asked, confused.
"your middle name is isabella, not elizabella"
my heart sank. it was as if my whole "mom and dad are such good compromisers that they took their two favourite names and made one name instead of fighting over it or hyphenating both" theory was no longer accurate.
that, and i was embarrassed, and a little ticked that my artwork took longer than it needed to seeing as how elizabella was two letters longer than my newfound middle name.
suffice it to say, i never forgot it again. in part because this whole grade four craft thing left me traumatized; in another, because my parents came up with a little jingle to ensure that i never forgot it again. [i can hear it ringing in my ears even now, "is-a-bell-a necessary for a bicycle?"].
this got me thinking, though. how many of us are walking around with names that we aren't meant to walk around with? labels that we have accepted from others, or ones we have adopted ourselves?
for you, it may be ugly, or fat. maybe you've been called stupid or useless, or have been told you won't amount to anything and walk around as if whoever said that to you was right. whatever it is, whatever false names/labels/identities you've believed about yourself for whatever reason, it's time to exchange your elizabella for your isabella and start believing the truth.
i'll have you know that i had the biggest and baddest constructo-monster ever to step foot in that classroom. so you can imagine my disappointment when i found out what i'm about to share with you when i brought my artwork home that night.
my parents loved my craft and beamed with pride at their personal picasso, after all, this piece was clearly refrigerator worthy.
"that's great, hunny", my dad said, "but who's elizabella?"
"daddddd", i said in a playful tone. "that's my middle name"
he looked at mom. she looked at me.
"what?" i asked, confused.
"your middle name is isabella, not elizabella"
my heart sank. it was as if my whole "mom and dad are such good compromisers that they took their two favourite names and made one name instead of fighting over it or hyphenating both" theory was no longer accurate.
that, and i was embarrassed, and a little ticked that my artwork took longer than it needed to seeing as how elizabella was two letters longer than my newfound middle name.
suffice it to say, i never forgot it again. in part because this whole grade four craft thing left me traumatized; in another, because my parents came up with a little jingle to ensure that i never forgot it again. [i can hear it ringing in my ears even now, "is-a-bell-a necessary for a bicycle?"].
this got me thinking, though. how many of us are walking around with names that we aren't meant to walk around with? labels that we have accepted from others, or ones we have adopted ourselves?
for you, it may be ugly, or fat. maybe you've been called stupid or useless, or have been told you won't amount to anything and walk around as if whoever said that to you was right. whatever it is, whatever false names/labels/identities you've believed about yourself for whatever reason, it's time to exchange your elizabella for your isabella and start believing the truth.
Sunday, May 24, 2015
"hey guys", i said as my friends and i approached a group of six people sitting on a bench in a shady [in more ways than one] park on gerrard street east. "would you like some water?"
"uh no", she said. "we have beer".
"that's cool", i said, "would you like some water for later?"
"noooo, we have beer", she repeated. [i think she wanted me to know that she had beer lol].
so i went another route, and started including the others, too. one guy had a sick red new york yankees hat on [minus the yankees part] so naturally i started talking about the jays, which he found humorous, which naturally led me to laugh out loud, which, well, naturally led them to make fun of my crazy laugh. consider the ice broken.
we didn't talk about anything deep this time around, which has never been our agenda any ways, but we did share some more laughs, a few dance moves, and you better believe that my friends and i listened a great deal. one guy was ecstatic that he 'can now get married in ireland', another was blown away that we weren't with any organization and were handing out water 'on our own', and one lady shared of her health struggles and asked me if i had any underwear.
"not on me", i said. "well..uh..i have a pair ON me, but that's not going to help anyone". she rolled her eyes. [tough crowd]. "perhaps i should start an 'operation fruit of the loom' soon in the near future", i thought.
all kidding aside, being asked for underwear reassured me of the fact that there are so many needs out there. water. sandwiches. some change. underwear. a good laugh. you name it. and honestly, when you think about it, it really doesn't cost us much to reach out and help others. two of my friends and i took a couple of hours out of our saturday to do something practical, and the water, thanks to walmart this week, cost us a measly $1.88. helping others doesn't always cost us much, and is more simple than we make it out to be at times, not to mention rewarding.
i'll never forget the face of the older gentlemen whom we gave our last water bottle to. he was lying on the ground on the northwest corner of the infamous dundas square, blending in with the crowd and yet invisible to some.
"good day, sir. would you like some water?" we said.
i tell you no lies - his whole disposition changed in a matter of seconds! his piercing blue eyes popped out of their sockets as he sat up a bit and said, "ohhh yes! thank you" with so much excitement and gratitude in his voice. we honestly couldn't have asked for a better way to end our day.
so thank you, sir. thank you for reminding us of what operation hydration is all about: you.
**************************************************************************************************
operation hydration recap:
first outing: just me and 10 water bottles.
second outing: 21 water bottles, two of my friends and i.
what will operation hydration 3 look like? [stay tuned for the deets!]
"uh no", she said. "we have beer".
"that's cool", i said, "would you like some water for later?"
"noooo, we have beer", she repeated. [i think she wanted me to know that she had beer lol].
so i went another route, and started including the others, too. one guy had a sick red new york yankees hat on [minus the yankees part] so naturally i started talking about the jays, which he found humorous, which naturally led me to laugh out loud, which, well, naturally led them to make fun of my crazy laugh. consider the ice broken.
we didn't talk about anything deep this time around, which has never been our agenda any ways, but we did share some more laughs, a few dance moves, and you better believe that my friends and i listened a great deal. one guy was ecstatic that he 'can now get married in ireland', another was blown away that we weren't with any organization and were handing out water 'on our own', and one lady shared of her health struggles and asked me if i had any underwear.
"not on me", i said. "well..uh..i have a pair ON me, but that's not going to help anyone". she rolled her eyes. [tough crowd]. "perhaps i should start an 'operation fruit of the loom' soon in the near future", i thought.
all kidding aside, being asked for underwear reassured me of the fact that there are so many needs out there. water. sandwiches. some change. underwear. a good laugh. you name it. and honestly, when you think about it, it really doesn't cost us much to reach out and help others. two of my friends and i took a couple of hours out of our saturday to do something practical, and the water, thanks to walmart this week, cost us a measly $1.88. helping others doesn't always cost us much, and is more simple than we make it out to be at times, not to mention rewarding.
i'll never forget the face of the older gentlemen whom we gave our last water bottle to. he was lying on the ground on the northwest corner of the infamous dundas square, blending in with the crowd and yet invisible to some.
"good day, sir. would you like some water?" we said.
i tell you no lies - his whole disposition changed in a matter of seconds! his piercing blue eyes popped out of their sockets as he sat up a bit and said, "ohhh yes! thank you" with so much excitement and gratitude in his voice. we honestly couldn't have asked for a better way to end our day.
so thank you, sir. thank you for reminding us of what operation hydration is all about: you.
**************************************************************************************************
operation hydration recap:
first outing: just me and 10 water bottles.
second outing: 21 water bottles, two of my friends and i.
what will operation hydration 3 look like? [stay tuned for the deets!]
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
someone recently prayed that 'God would show up and show off in my life'. you better believe that i 'amened' that prayer, but i also added my own, that God would open my eyes to see the ways in which he is active in my life. ["keep your eyes open for God, watch for his works; be alert for signs of his presence" - psalm 105:4 MSG].
well, this week has been ... cray cray in the 'God showing up and showing off' department.
i've been treated to more dinners than i can count, my brother bought me a sick bike, and a friend, a helmet. doors have been opening like crazy when it comes to the non-profit/ministry that i feel like i am supposed to start, friends rescued me at 12:30a.m. when i was stuck without the buses that were supposed to show up according to miway's bus app, and the list goes on. kindness surrounds me, love is kind, and God is love. [1 john 4:8]
truthfully, i'm used to this kind of provision in my life [i could tell you some crazy stories], but sometimes, God shows up in my life in ways i least expect it, like shutting doors that i thought should have been swung wide open.
i thought i had it all worked out. after a series of events [my mom being given a second chance at life after a long battle with cancer, an inspiring conversations with a friend, my 35th birthday etc.], i left my job in pursuit of my dream of working with the poor.
in my head, it all made sense. i would pick up a part-time serving job to pay my bills. not only would the money be good, but this type of job would provide a flexible enough schedule for me to get crackin on what i was put on earth to do.
so you can imagine how excited i was when i got a phone call for an interview at a local pub just days after i left my job.
i show up in confidence like i always do [i have mad interview skills], had the manager laughing for at least 3/4 of my interview, and walked out convinced that i got the job.
today, however, i wake up to a voicemail telling me that 'i have the best personality, but that he's decided to go another route'.
i felt totally bummed out, and i let myself feel bummed out, because, well, sometimes you just need to let yourself feel bummed out. but then i got up, got ready, and walked to second cup where i've been job hunting and studying homelessness all day. [even in light of disappointment, you have to keep moving forward].
we make all of these plans in our head, you know; plans of how things should work out and what life should look like, and sometimes, the things we imagine for ourselves actually pan out. but sometimes, they don't; sometimes, just sometimes, you have to let the good pass you by in exchange for the best.
"we can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps". [proverbs 16:9]
trusting that He'll 'guide me along the BEST pathway for my life' [psalm 32:8] ... and trusting the same for you!
ps. OPERATION HYDRATION 2 going down this weekend. get at me for deets.
well, this week has been ... cray cray in the 'God showing up and showing off' department.
i've been treated to more dinners than i can count, my brother bought me a sick bike, and a friend, a helmet. doors have been opening like crazy when it comes to the non-profit/ministry that i feel like i am supposed to start, friends rescued me at 12:30a.m. when i was stuck without the buses that were supposed to show up according to miway's bus app, and the list goes on. kindness surrounds me, love is kind, and God is love. [1 john 4:8]
truthfully, i'm used to this kind of provision in my life [i could tell you some crazy stories], but sometimes, God shows up in my life in ways i least expect it, like shutting doors that i thought should have been swung wide open.
i thought i had it all worked out. after a series of events [my mom being given a second chance at life after a long battle with cancer, an inspiring conversations with a friend, my 35th birthday etc.], i left my job in pursuit of my dream of working with the poor.
in my head, it all made sense. i would pick up a part-time serving job to pay my bills. not only would the money be good, but this type of job would provide a flexible enough schedule for me to get crackin on what i was put on earth to do.
so you can imagine how excited i was when i got a phone call for an interview at a local pub just days after i left my job.
i show up in confidence like i always do [i have mad interview skills], had the manager laughing for at least 3/4 of my interview, and walked out convinced that i got the job.
today, however, i wake up to a voicemail telling me that 'i have the best personality, but that he's decided to go another route'.
i felt totally bummed out, and i let myself feel bummed out, because, well, sometimes you just need to let yourself feel bummed out. but then i got up, got ready, and walked to second cup where i've been job hunting and studying homelessness all day. [even in light of disappointment, you have to keep moving forward].
we make all of these plans in our head, you know; plans of how things should work out and what life should look like, and sometimes, the things we imagine for ourselves actually pan out. but sometimes, they don't; sometimes, just sometimes, you have to let the good pass you by in exchange for the best.
"we can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps". [proverbs 16:9]
trusting that He'll 'guide me along the BEST pathway for my life' [psalm 32:8] ... and trusting the same for you!
ps. OPERATION HYDRATION 2 going down this weekend. get at me for deets.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
no matter where life finds you, it's imperative that you spend some time doing things that make you feel alive. for me, that's writing letters [or emails and facebook posts] of encouragement, singing at the top of my lungs while using my hammy as a snare drum, going for coffee with a friend, and blogging. [for all 185 of you who read yesterday's post 'sex ed for the win & other tings', thank you].
with 'living life to its full' as my new motto, i promised myself that i would make some changes as i approached 35. not only did i write a list of things that i want to accomplish, as well as fun things i want to do this year, but i made some serious changes. i found myself re-evaluating certain friendships, and leaving the job that has employed me this past year in hopes to look after myself, and pursue my dreams of working with youth and the poor.
as most of you know, i took my first step a few weeks a go and organized my first 'operation hydration', with the second one just being less than two weeks away.
and yesterday, a local youth pastor called me, asked me to speak at his youth group about 'faith in action' and lead an operation hydration, which excites me and assures me that i am on the right track.
in addition to this, i reconnected with an organization by the name of st. francis table [a restaurant for the poor], where teams of youth and i spent a considerable amount of time volunteering a few summers a go, and am taking the trek downtown toronto on Friday to hang out with the crew there and see if i can assist them in any way. [stay tuned for details]. so things are looking promising.
in the meantime, i'm dilligently searching for a job that'll pay my bills, and sending out resumes accordingly.
that being said, if anyone of you are looking for some help, i could use something to do, and/or some cash. [though i am in need of a bike and am willing to work for that, too if you have one laying around]. i'm good at, but not limited to:
- painting [i was actually thinking of starting a company called iPaint uPay]
- cleaning [iClean uLean?]
- writing essays [haha]
- making you laugh
- public speaking
- babysitting
- other
so if you have something for me to do, holla for paula.
[of course, if you really need help and aren't in a place to compensate, i'm sure we can work something out; i have lots of time on my hands and would love to help!]
with 'living life to its full' as my new motto, i promised myself that i would make some changes as i approached 35. not only did i write a list of things that i want to accomplish, as well as fun things i want to do this year, but i made some serious changes. i found myself re-evaluating certain friendships, and leaving the job that has employed me this past year in hopes to look after myself, and pursue my dreams of working with youth and the poor.
as most of you know, i took my first step a few weeks a go and organized my first 'operation hydration', with the second one just being less than two weeks away.
and yesterday, a local youth pastor called me, asked me to speak at his youth group about 'faith in action' and lead an operation hydration, which excites me and assures me that i am on the right track.
in addition to this, i reconnected with an organization by the name of st. francis table [a restaurant for the poor], where teams of youth and i spent a considerable amount of time volunteering a few summers a go, and am taking the trek downtown toronto on Friday to hang out with the crew there and see if i can assist them in any way. [stay tuned for details]. so things are looking promising.
in the meantime, i'm dilligently searching for a job that'll pay my bills, and sending out resumes accordingly.
that being said, if anyone of you are looking for some help, i could use something to do, and/or some cash. [though i am in need of a bike and am willing to work for that, too if you have one laying around]. i'm good at, but not limited to:
- painting [i was actually thinking of starting a company called iPaint uPay]
- cleaning [iClean uLean?]
- writing essays [haha]
- making you laugh
- public speaking
- babysitting
- other
so if you have something for me to do, holla for paula.
[of course, if you really need help and aren't in a place to compensate, i'm sure we can work something out; i have lots of time on my hands and would love to help!]
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