Wednesday, June 22, 2016

i turn into a child when i see an airplane; i get giddy at airports, excited when i board, feel a high when i take off [no pun intended], and a heck of a lot of adrenaline when i land. i was born to soar. literally, and figuratively.

after last week's mental breakdown, i feel like i've been given a second chance at life. i've revisited some goals, made some new ones, and made steps to achieve both. after all, it's been said that "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result". well, it's time to do things different.

1) a career change.

i left my full-time management role at a catering company downtown toronto when my mom got sick in exchange for a part-time serving gig here in brampton. this not only paid my bills, but opened up my schedule to travel back and forth to ottawa to visit my mom, and enabled me the time i needed [and need] to grieve after she passed away. it's been four months since she died, and even though i am nowhere near being 'okay' without her [is there even such a thing?], i do acknowledge the need to move forward.

and so i job search.

my love for planes, adventure, and hospitality is pushing me in the direction of becoming a flight attendant [something i have been thinking about for a while now], and my passion for youth and the poor is pushing me to continue building my non profit and doing what i can to break down the stigma attached to homelessness by educating youth about such a topic while encouraging them to give back to their communities. i believe that both of these worlds will collide for me as i passionately pursue both avenues.

2) meeting people at the steeple. [rhyming intentional]

i went to church for the first time in a very long time on sunday, and left with a desire to get plugged into one again. i'm not going to lie; part of me is extremely hesitant and cynical, but another part of me misses being connected to others who share the same faith as i do, and belting out hymns with others who believe in what they're singing as much as i do.

and so i church search. [rhyming intentional here, too].

3) a better me: "an unexamined life if not worth living" [socrates]

a healthy mind: to keep my crazy brain occupied, i carry a book everywhere i go. i'm a few chapters away from finishing R.A. dickey's biography "wherever i wind up", which has not only made me be able to relate to the guy and feel less alone in life, but has very easily turned me into a fan of his. you really don't have any idea how powerful your story is until you share yours and/or connect with someone else's story.

a healthy spirit: music hits me so hard. (makes me say 'oh my lord') [some of you are way too young for that song]. but seriously ... music is my voice when i feel like i don't have one. it encourages my brain and fills my soul - and so does the bible - both of which i try and include in my life each and every day.

a healthy body: i got a wee bit off track this past month in this area, and am feeling lethargic as a result, so i went to the store today and bought some veggies to start juicing again [as in making fresh vegetable juice, not taking steroids - enter wink emoticon here], and bought my fave white fish and broccoli for dinner. i also emailed a personal trainer prospect, and plan on biking and swimming more to get my heart a pumping, and my pants a little more loose.

healthy emotions: as you would know from reading last week's blog, my counselor is a great fit, and writing [via this blog, and my journal] provides a good release for me. i also plan on seeing a doctor this week to check out some options ... but i'll save that for a whole other blog. maybe.

until next time, friends.

ps. i decided to give a whirl, but i don't know which category to fit that into. just imagine the stories i'll be able to share with you on this blog! [enter my second and last wink emoticon here].


  1. Paula! Your 'voice' sounds so much more familiar! I know with God at your side you will do big things! Press forward, it is encouraging to hear you smile again!

    1. Sandra Sorensen (apparently, I'm unknown)

    2. Sandra Sorensen (apparently, I'm unknown)