i thought i would be married by now, and have kids, and at the very least, a good and reliable circle of friends.
instead, i'm doing what i normally do on a saturday night. and sunday nights. monday nights. heck, even tuesday nights; i'm sitting alone in my empty house while everyone else is hanging out with their family and friends. at least, that's what facebook is telling me they're [you're] doing. and all of the cars parked in my court.
now before you start telling me i need to reach out to people, i have. many times, in fact. i made some plans just this week alone, and my friends either cancelled, or coincidentally broke their phone in the middle of our conversation, or something.
i'm trying not to take it personally. really i'm not.
i mean, "the way people treat you has nothing to do with you, and everything to with them", right?
but how do i not take this loneliness personally when i'm the only common denominator in all of this?
most of the time, i just grab a book, sit in my backyard, and occupy this brain of mine, but tonight, i feel sad and feel like dwelling on it [and blogging about it] for a bit.
after all, i'm all about the #realtalk; i'm tired of fake crap, and highlight reels, and i'm certainly tired of being alone.