it was a week i will always remember.

leading up to it, i was apprehensive. fully loaded schedules have never been my thing and the fact that i had to spend eight long days with people i barely knew (and a lot that i didn't know at all) scared me.

and yet my biggest prayer going into this was that i would keep my heart open. to God. to others. to what i would learn and in ways in which i knew i needed to grow. thankfully, all of the above were answered, and i left hamilton feeling renewed. healed. more passionate. different. changed.

during one of our activities, lectio divina (a fancy name for studying and contemplating the Word), i found myself reading ephesians 3:14-21, only i couldn't get past the first sentence.

"for this reason, i bow my knees before the Father" (in prayer)

"for what reason?", i thought. a question that forced me to go back a chapter and start there.

in reading the previous verses and chapter (and from knowing about some of his life before this), it was (is) evident that the apostle paul had a burden for the church, a burden that caused him to kneel and pray to the One who gave him his vision and burden in the first place, his Father.

i couldn't (and can't) stop thinking about how powerful these three words are and how crucial it is that i, too, 'fall to my knees in prayer'. after all, i can't - and don't want to - do anything without Him.

or the people that He has intentionally placed in my life, either.

i made a point to make sure that i got to connect with everyone at least once during our week of training and for the most part, i succeeded at this. a lot of the conversations i had with my new friends resonate with my heart and spirit even now and has left me feeling thankful and inspired. there really are really great people out there.

i also made it a point to get to know my own teammates better. our GTA team has eighty-ish people on it, working in different ministries and departments, making it hard for us to connect with one another on a daily basis. getting away with five of them was life-giving and really, really fun.

though they are all wonderful, one friendship in particular was really healing for me.

enter loreli.

i met her in the office not too long ago, and walked away knowing that there was something different about her. i told her this, actually, because, well, i am firm believer in telling people what i see in them/think about them. maybe too much.

any ways. someone tagged her on facebook that week and naturally, i creeped her page. (i see you, fellow creepers). i ended up sending her an email letting know that i creeped her and that i had been impressed with some of the stuff she had written. her response? "please don't just creep me - add me". i knew in that very moment that we would become friends, and now thanks to way too many diet cokes (although i don't know that one can say that about diet coke), a few really life-changing and life-giving heart to hearts, and a ton of deep bellied laughs, we are - and i consider myself very, very lucky.

back to the whole prayer thing.

during one of our talks, i confessed (for lack of a better word) something that i have been struggling with on and off for 15 years now and had recently reared its ugly head. she listened, asked the right questions, and then asked if she could pray with me. we sat on a bench at 11:00 at night where she fought my battle on my behalf, and i got up from that bench feeling less alone in my struggle and empowered to fight it once and for all.

what if that very prayer she prayed in faith freed me of something that i have been bound to off and on for years, i wondered? (please, Lord, let it be so!)

so what did i learn during my week at SI?

one, that prayer is powerful and necessary and that i need to do more of it (which includes listening).

two, that i'm not alone; there are countless people who understand the nature of the 'work that i do' and are just as passionate about theirs.

and three, i consider myself extremely lucky to be able to live such a rich, beautiful life.

thanks, God, for being so safe and trustworthy and for knowing what is truly BEST for this girl. you are the source of all that i am and the keeper of my heart.

thanks, SI peeps, for being interested in my life, spending time with me, asking good questions, sharing YOUR life with ME and allowing me the honour of doing the same to you. we're better together.

and lastly, to my beloved SI leadership team, thank you for every ounce of work you put into last week and all of the investment you made into my life through prayer, conversation and most importantly, by example. i'm forever grateful.