Saturday, July 21, 2012

breakdowns pave the way for 'build ups'

if you couldn't tell by my facebook statuses as of late [i know that chances are this is how you found this blog], i've been having a rough few weeks.

people often tell me how blessed i am, and how they would do anything to have my life. the truth is, i am blessed, and i do have a pretty incredible life, but that doesn't change the fact that i, too, have bad days. weeks even. and struggles. insecurities. and, and, the list goes on.

i merely share this kind of stuff on my facebook/twitter in hopes that 1) people would realize that encouragers need encouragement, too, and 2) people would reach out to me in my time of need.

i find myself quite frustrated at the way the world works when it comes to relationships these days. there used to be a day when we would show up at people's homes and hang out, pick up a phone and call someone, even, dare i say, send letters in the mail. but now? now we [and i'm included in the 'we'] resort to texting, and social media, and think we've done our part when we write a measly 'HBD' on someone's facebook wall for their birthday, instead of celebrating our friends in a more personal way.

i fall into this trap at times, too. sure, i've made some changes in my life and continue to [one being the fact that i will call you on your birthday if i have your number, though i am still adjusting], but i, too, still find myself relying on such shallow means of communicating.

i was so frustrated this week that i wanted to throw my iphone out the window and actually deactivated my facebook account. that, of course, lasted a whole ten minutes as i sat there thinking about all of the people i would no longer have the very contact with that i am complaining about right now =)

but seriously, friends, what has this world come to? it started with an apple, and sadly, appears that the world is falling apart with a different kind of one. [some of you will get that later].

any ways.

so here i was last night, feeling like i hit rock bottom when i started bawling, and talking to a God i know 'gets' me, and walks with me through even the messiest of emotions and pain.

and then the phone rang and i found myself crying and venting to a friend who just sat on the other end and listened to me until i felt a peace come over me; a peace that i had been longing for all week. a peace that allowed me to get the good night's rest that i so desperately needed, and a peace that was waiting for me when i woke up this morning.

breakdowns pave the way for' build ups' indeed.


  1. Lots of love your way!!! Know there are many women who totally understand where you are coming from!!! Myself included. Allow your spirit to rest in peace. God will be there for you when no one else is. Cleche I know... been said I know... But if you find yourself alone. It is a perfect moment to rely on Him completely. In times of solitude with God we have an opportunity to embrace the love, grace and faithfulness that He desires to lavishly pour over us if we will just stop and enjoy.

    Praise the Lord though for good friends who support us through out our lives. To enhance and confirm God's faithfulness.

    Blessings my friend.

  2. i get the whole 'rely on God thing', and i do, but sometimes a girl just needs someone to walk beside her. i think we often use the above as an excuse as to why we fail as friends, and why we fail to live life the way God intended us to live: together.

    thanks, friend.

  3. That is something that God is speaking to my heart personally A LOT lately!!! As you can tell from my blog. :)

    I LOVE LOVE that you are writting consitantly again!!!! I enjoy reading your blog!!!

  4. =) i will go to the grave fighting such a point.