breakdowns pave the way for 'build ups'

if you couldn't tell by my facebook statuses as of late [i know that chances are this is how you found this blog], i've been having a rough few weeks.

people often tell me how blessed i am, and how they would do anything to have my life. the truth is, i am blessed, and i do have a pretty incredible life, but that doesn't change the fact that i, too, have bad days. weeks even. and struggles. insecurities. and, and, the list goes on.

i merely share this kind of stuff on my facebook/twitter in hopes that 1) people would realize that encouragers need encouragement, too, and 2) people would reach out to me in my time of need.

i find myself quite frustrated at the way the world works when it comes to relationships these days. there used to be a day when we would show up at people's homes and hang out, pick up a phone and call someone, even, dare i say, send letters in the mail. but now? now we [and i'm included in the 'we'] resort to texting, and social media, and think we've done our part when we write a measly 'HBD' on someone's facebook wall for their birthday, instead of celebrating our friends in a more personal way.

i fall into this trap at times, too. sure, i've made some changes in my life and continue to [one being the fact that i will call you on your birthday if i have your number, though i am still adjusting], but i, too, still find myself relying on such shallow means of communicating.

i was so frustrated this week that i wanted to throw my iphone out the window and actually deactivated my facebook account. that, of course, lasted a whole ten minutes as i sat there thinking about all of the people i would no longer have the very contact with that i am complaining about right now =)

but seriously, friends, what has this world come to? it started with an apple, and sadly, appears that the world is falling apart with a different kind of one. [some of you will get that later].

any ways.

so here i was last night, feeling like i hit rock bottom when i started bawling, and talking to a God i know 'gets' me, and walks with me through even the messiest of emotions and pain.

and then the phone rang and i found myself crying and venting to a friend who just sat on the other end and listened to me until i felt a peace come over me; a peace that i had been longing for all week. a peace that allowed me to get the good night's rest that i so desperately needed, and a peace that was waiting for me when i woke up this morning.

breakdowns pave the way for' build ups' indeed.